#...and now i have to write an actual post
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Ok so, ik I'm busy, but I can't NOT talk about the new episode. So...
SPOILER WARNING FOR EPISODE 5 OF THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS
I won't write an essay now, but holy gosh moly. This episode was great. And I hate that it ends with a cliffhanger. But it makes sense since Goose said that eps 5&6 were focused on both Jax & Ragatha, so they are very likely tied together (hopefully we don't have to wait another 6 months, but you also can't rush art of course)
I also don't want to break down the episode, there are people who can do that way better than me. I just wanna talk about some fun stuff.
First of all, I tried my best to figure out what everbody's saying here (Only Jax is subtitled in english, however the other two are as well in other languages, so I used them if I had difficulties with what they're saying):
everything I am not 100% sure about or was roughly translated via the different language subtitles, is written in brackets
JAX: I very much did not enjoy that one in the slightest. If we ever do anything even close to that again, I'm getting violent, and I'm going to kill Ragatha.
GANGLE: Uh... I... don't really think it [brought out the best in me], even if it [was the cause of my mask].
RAGATHA: Oh, I really do not think [I was that innocent at] that time, I [did release] (?) some things I normally never say.
I know that some of this is not accurate or something is missing, but it's really difficult to understand what Ragatha and Gangle are saying. Therefore if you know anything, help is very much appreciated!
_______________________________________________
Now I wanna talk about rather obscure stuff. Like Kinger being right handed. I never posted anything about it, but I discussed with my friend about what each circus member's dominant hand was (bc I was bored, can you blame me?) and while I still think that the animators just use whatever looks good and can bring the message across the best (like Gangle sometimes drawing with her left hand and with her right hand, based on what perspective we view her, or how basically most characters use their left and right hand for difficult tasks equally, just so that the viewers can see it better, and it's probably easier to animate as well if you don't have to think about it)
Anyways, Kinger is right handed confirmed to me. (Jax is left handed, tho I need to rewatch all episodes and shorts on Glitch's channel to get more information about that, same with the other chars, tho I'm 98% convinced that both Jax and Gangle are left handed, tho that might just be delusion idk)
Btw the Anime and Intermission section were beautiful. Now we know why it took so long, but it was definitely worth it.
Also RIBBUN AND MAID DRESS HALLELUJAH!
ngl this looks funny
I feel like the shippers are going crazy with this one, especially people who ship Funnybunny (and the Bunnydoll Nation is either in shambles or enjoy it as much as the time Ragatha got deep fried.)
As a Ribbun enjoyer, I am definitely eating the toxic crumbs up like Jax did eat Gangle. Also thank you Goose for giving us so many great catchphrases that I am going to use from now on.
Also, THE LORE. And why can I genuinely relate so much with Jax. Why. Idk how to feel about this. And he actually cares let's gooo!
And I gotta say. Love the beef between Jax and Ragatha, and I also like the friendship between Jax and Pomni that slowly but surely develops. I also like the detail that here, Pomni votes against the maid dress. I could imagine that she just thinks it's childish, but it's also a sign that she knows Jax would hate it and wouldn't want to stir chaos.
ALSO HE SAID THE LINE HE SAID THE LINE!
You detached it yourself, idiot.
Welp I'm outta pictures to post here. There's alot more like Jax having a friend that looks like a frog, and Goose mentioned in one post that the person that abstracted before Kaufmo was called Ribbit (yk, like the sound a frog makes). I thinke there's likely a connection. And considering that Pomni was supposed to be a frog first, maybe that's how Jax and Pomni also will become closer friends. Can't wait for the next episode
And knowing what Goose said, it's not gonna be a wholesome one. After all, even tho 5&6 are split between Ragatha and Jax, this was still the Ragatha episode, and the next one will be "more centered" around Jax. I'm scared.
Also as much as it pains me, I think Gangle will be the one to abstract. The fact that she didn't have an evil doppelganger and with the teaser of her symbol loading, it's too much of a coincidence to not happen. Pls don't Gangle you're my baby ;;-;;.
(so much so to "not an essay" lmao. "Not an essay" my ass)
Also. DaY 172 bc yes
#the amazing digital circus#tadc episode 5#tadc#tadc episode 5 spoiler#tadc spoilers#tadc spoiler#tadc theory#pomni#jax#ragatha#kinger#gangle#zooble#ribbun#funnybunny#bunnydoll#i won't tag every character x character here now I already wasted too much time writing this
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──☆🌀 touch starved
엔하이픈 | Enhypen | Nishimura Riki



A/N: Guysssss I haven’t written in so long 💔💔 but I had a thought and idk if yall will like it but HEAR ME OUTTTTTT
──WC: around 700
Thinking about touch starved Riki who is so overstimulated tonight. He’s so horny, he’s already finished once while you haven’t yet. He’s just going too fast and sloppy that he can’t keep up a rhythm.
He’s getting frustrated because poor boy can’t even go a full minute without getting so overstimulated that he needs to pause and take a break. You just feel so unbearably good wrapped around him.
Thinking about touch starved Riki who has you tangled between his legs. He’s practically sitting on one of your legs with the other thrown over his shoulder.
He’s fucking so hard into you that he needs to grip your thighs so tight just so he won’t cum in two seconds flat. He even ends up hugging the leg that’s thrown over his shoulder because he just needs to be touching you with his whole body.
Thinking about touch starved Riki who can’t even lean over you because his head keeps falling back. He ends up sitting on his heels the entire time as if you’re the one on top of him.
And whenever he does manage to lean over to be fully top of you, the second he sees your pretty face, oh he’s done for. He’s immediately cumming a second time.
Thinking about touch starved Riki who is a moaning mess because he’s just so frustrated, overstimulated and so fucking horny. He’s typically not the type to be whining like this but tonight is different. He hasn’t touched you in so long, he just can’t help it ☹️
He has his head thrown back and jaw slack, letting out the sluttiest moans you’ve ever heard from him. And if he tries to cover his mouth? It doesn’t last long before he’s clawing at your thighs again. He can’t form any words, just pretty groans and whines.
Thinking about touch starved Riki who finally puts both legs over his shoulders. Bad idea. With your legs closed a bit, now you feel even tighter around him. Before he even realizes it, he’s cumming a third time. Poor boy is practically shaking at this point. He’s breathless and tired but still so horny, he can’t take it.
You’re here reaching for his hips to try to help him out a bit. You guide him into a better rhythm that has you finally finishing around his cock. But when he feels that it’s like you’ve started a fire in him. He’s spurred on again and thrusting into you like an animal in heat.
Thinking about touch starved Riki who is on the edge of tears from how heavenly you feel cumming on his dick. He’s moaning like he’s never felt anything better in his life. He’s bit his lip so hard that it’s bleeding but he somehow doesn’t even notice from the trance he’s lost in.
The bed is squeaking uncontrollably like it’s going to break at any moment and at some point you genuinely think it might. But obviously he doesn’t notice that either. He can only think about you and your tight cunt.
Thinking about touch starved Riki who actually fucking collapses on top of you after he finishes for the last time tonight. He’s panting and shaking and too tired out to move an inch. And you have to just lay there with him practically crushing you under his body weight. He just needs to catch his breath ☹️
Thinking about touch starved Riki who finally comes to his senses and rolls off of you. Then he’s apologizing over and over again for coming so many times and not letting you do the same. You don’t care though. You’re just happy you were able to make your precious boyfriend feel so good.
Thinking about touch starved Riki who wants to treat you to the sweetest softest aftercare but he physically cannot fucking move. So instead you happily fetch a damp towel to wipe the sweat and juices off his spent body, leaving soft kisses on every inch of his skin that you clean. ❤️
A/N: sorry this was so rushed I just wanted to write it before I forgot it. Anyways enjoy me posting after almost a year of inactivity
#strawberrynull#enhypen#enha#kpop#enhypen x reader#riki nishimura x reader#niki x reader#riki x reader#enhypen smut#niki smut#riki smut#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#niki hard thoughts#niki hard hours#enhypen drabbles#enha smut#riki hard thoughts#niki enhypen#riki enhypen#nishimura riki
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McGuffin or Chekhov's smokin' gun?
During my old university days, I studied Media as part of my Drama degree. I was interested in film at the time, until they made us all sit through 2001 Space Odyssey. Absolute torture. Anyway, we studied a whole lot of Hitchcock also. I learned a great deal about the auteur, the male gaze and the 'McGuffin'. Stick with me reader, I am going somewhere I promise. In fiction, a MacGuffin (sometimes McGuffin) is an object, device, or event that is necessary to the plot and the motivation of the characters, but insignificant, unimportant, or irrelevant in itself. (Wikipedia) For example, in Pyscho the lead female character Marion Crane turns up to Bates Motel with a suitcase full of stolen cash. It ends up being irrelevant because that is not the main plot. Marion (spoiler) is stabbed to death by Norman Bates and the suitcase of money ends up in the lake with her car. That is her story over. A modern day McGuffin in my mind would be Dennis Nedry stealing dino DNA in Jurassic Park using a can of aftershave cream. The plot point is irrelevant, even though it causes the fences to shut down and chaos to ensue, the can is lost as Dennis is eaten by a Dilophosaurus and that is the end of that. The main narrative is elsewhere.
In university, I was fascinated with Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill. As a Buffy fan, I was almost ecstatic with joy to see another badass female lead slice her way to revenge and justice wearing a yellow, leather jump suit. It is an incredibly gory film, but I see it as a masterpiece of cinema. This is where I was made aware of the term - Chekhov's gun. "is a narrative principle emphasizing that every element in a story be necessary, while irrelevant elements should be removed. For example, if a gun features in a story, there must be a reason for it, such as being fired at some later point." Usually in film, the director will make a point of showing the object/device and it will come up repeatedly or later. In Kill Bill, there is The Bride's sword which is made and then shown later with her lopping off a hundred or so heads. In Kill Bill part 2, in a flashback to years earlier, Bill tells the young Bride of the legendary martial arts master Pai Mei and his Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, a death blow that Pai refuses to teach his students; properly used, the attack is reputed to leave an opponent able to take only five steps before dying. This is how (major spoiler) The Bride defeats Bill in the end. She was shown by Pai Mei. I could go on and on about how these devices are used in cinema and television, but you will be aware of them. In Bridgerton, we can see that Penelope's feather quills are Chevhov's gun, because they are representative of a secret that she is keeping that has indirectly and directly affected so many people. Lady Whistledown has massive plot implications.
So, ZG where are you going with this blog post? I have struggled with keeping my mouth shut these last few months and running things through in my mind. It is easier to just chat in my discord and much less hassle, but it also grinds my gears that us Lukola's feel the need to be underground. I want to be a voice of reason for the fandom and not be stifled. A few days ago, I was made aware of a picture. This picture had my eyes widening and my heart thudding, because it was confirmation to me that what I had suspected and read in my cards, was absolutely right. I have struggled in the past with even writing this down, because people get so mad. I am a mother of four. I have actually had six pregnancies. I have dealt with early miscarriage, gestational diabetes, premature labour the lot. I am an experienced mother now of many years and I recognise another mother when I see one. I do not take pregnancy and childbirth lightly. I know what I saw last year from Nicola and I stand by that. This has NOTHING to do with fat shaming or commenting on Nicola's body, which I NEVER have.
It is now up to the story narrative to play out and for us as an audience to find out whether the buggy/stroller in the picture that Nicola is pushing, is a McGuffin - irrelevant. I saw someone say it might be a doggy stroller. Sigh, sure Jan. Or she could be pushing her sister's baby around Dublin. It is possible, but why are all her friends there that particular weekend? Where is her sister? Why is Aimee there? Why was Louisa tagged in the photo? What was so special about that weekend? We have worked out from Louisa's clothes that the weekend was most likely the 5th April. Jake shared a photo with Louisa in a pub that Saturday and the clothes match. I will come back to Jake in a moment.
Or is the stroller Chekhov's gun? A massive plot point and integral to this whole damn narrative and why my friends, we have been dragged along on this bumpy ship navigating an endless storm, that has included missiles, hurricanes, a great white shark, shelves, anchovies, tiramisu etc. My question from a few blogs ago was, what are Nicola and Luke hiding in the attic? In my opinion, it is the stroller. As I said on X yesterday, if you see the picture but refuse to acknowledge at least the possibility of what that stroller means, then that's on you if a harsh truth is ever revealed.
The Jakeholes have been quiet about this. It almost makes me giggle. Nicola liked that post, so she is absolutely aware of it. It has been sitting on Instagram for two weeks literally like a smoking gun undetected until the Lukola FBI finally dug it up. Lets face facts here. Jakey boy was filming from April - June last year in Wales and Nottingham for What it feels like for a girl (I loved it by the way! It weas excellent). Nicola was on a massive six month press tour with her co-star Luke Newton. We all saw the way they looked at each other in Brazil. We are not blind or stupid. We don't have amnesia either. I can look at the live footage at a touch of a button. Us Lukola's do not have to manipulate footage of Jake from WIFLFAG, where he plays a male prostitute and pimp, with footage of Nicola from Big Mood, where she plays a woman with mental health problems, and mash it together to make it look romantic. Those edits are sickening. They are also pathetic because whereas we have actual footage from Bridgerton and in real life, the Jakolas have nothing. Even Tiff couldn't make the Cannes footage look romantic. He looked like Nicola's assistant and we caught Jake making horny eyes at a man in the pre-Bafta party. My point is, Jake was not around when Nicola likely became pregnant and I will quote someone in my discord, Jake hasn't seen a vagina since he came out of one.
I believe the person in Nicola's recent post is Luke. My very dear friend @pikanchidouble-blog has done excellent analysis on this over the weekend of the ear and thumb and I absolutely think it's Luke. If it was Jake, why not tag him? She's not been shy about tagging him before. The sweet treat is also Luke coded and the fact he loves Italian food. Jake is also at the moment busy shooting a film. Nicola has better things to do than sit alone in a hotel all day in Australia alone, waiting for him.
We are yet again back to waiting game. If that was Luke in the selfie, Nicola has made a massive step forward in showing an aspect of him. She has made strides in showing the stroller also. I love Nicola for this. There must be a reason that she has decided to show us this. It has to be part of the larger story.
So do we have a McGuffin on our hands, or Chekhov's gun? You decide. We wait.
PS. Love you all xx


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wireless headphones are a good example though!!! like they're great but removing all other options... Not Great!!! we should be having MORE options as we keep inventing things!! bus ticket app is great and convenient except it's essentially the only viable option to purchase a bus ticket with in my town, which i think is evil. the list goes on!!!
also i regret using autocorrect as an example because now i have hundreds of people in the notes saying it can be turned off. what actually prompted me to write this post was this

there's something so deeply dystopian to me how tech companies don't understand that a forced convenience is not a convenience at all. i'm sure autocorrect is helpful for many, but a function that forcibly changes my actual written words and punctuation is taking away my language. photo filters can be nice but i need to choose using them myself or else i have lost the ability to take the picture i want. i don't want a machine to draw or write for me. taking away the option for me to do things manually feels like violence!!!! all this talk of endless opportunity, why are you RESTRICTING me
#i probably spent minimum an hour frantically going through my settings to find it again but it was Gone#same when they shrank my clock.#ui updates KEEP REMOVING MY SHIT#I WAS USING THAT!!! HEY!!!!! STOP REARRANGING MY DIGITAL HOUSE
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Hey, how you doin baby girl?😏
Soooo, since you are the master of writing realistic smut fics, I’m gonna leave this request queen.
Like u know how every vagina is different and stuff. I think people who struggle w having sex don’t get much representation (crying rn). I’m obviously not a virgin anymore but honestly my himen is so strong and my space inside is pretty small that even when I did it several times I still don’t feel much pleasure and it annoys me a lot, like I feel invaded and so annoyed (or it’s the men I slept with, idk). It also doesn’t help that I can’t feel relaxed.
So Caleb, Sylus, both, or which one you want (ik both of them are probably packed down there). With a reader that struggles w being relaxed and her body not helping either. The reader insisted they are not a virgin and they can get to the good part but oopps. So they/ he are/is already inside but it’s clear as day that reader feels more discomfort than pleasure and idk, either stopping and getting to a pretty good aftercare or just continuing w some good old oral and dope aftercare. Your choice.
Or not do this ask. I don’t mind. Just wanting to tell you that you are wonderful and beautiful 😽🫶 may you wake up w Caleb next to you, amen.
star girl's initial words: thank you so much, girlie for requesting!! i hope you like this one. i went with your idea as the context and then built on it (i hope that's okay).
you're not alone in your experience, and i can relate to how frustrating it must be that penetrative sex hasn't been an enjoyable experience for you. because we expect p-in-v to feel amazing, right? it's made out to be THE most sexually pleasurable experience, the ultimate end game, if you will. media (cough porn in any format cough) and a lack of awareness for women around penetration plays a big role in this.
from personal experiences (sorry if this is tmi just skip if it is), it's pretty ridiculous to expect penetrative sex to feel great when you've had no practise. i'm still a virgin (literally 19; i'm still baby) but like... yo ain't nothing of that size is going in there without weeks of coaxing.
AND, often when you (as a woman) don't enjoy penetrative sex, i feel like others make it out to be a problem. like there's something wrong with you, when there's nothing wrong at all. we're all different, and some of our bodies need to be accommodated for differently.
however, how much of this do i actually capture in the fic? it's debatable. but i hope i've captured enough so you feel some comfort when reading this.
you find sex painful
sylus x fem!reader
summary: based on nat's req, you're mid-sex with sylus when he finds out that penetration is painful for you. so, he tries his best to help with your pain.
contains: nsfw, smut, sexual touching (f!receiving), squirting (first time), swearing, fluff, sy buys dilators for you, 3.4k words
note: i've shifted the focus to sylus helping you, rather than how penetration is painful. this post is not meant to be prescriptive.
“Just put it in, Sy,” you whine, bucking your hips up to meet his.
Your boyfriend sighs, “Kitten.” He’s been trying to pump you with a second finger for the past ten minutes, but every time he slips it in, you squirm in pain. And now, you’re insisting that he just shove his huge cock in.
“Please, Sy. It’ll be fine, I promise,” you try to persuade him. Your hips are propped up on a pillow, dripping pussy glinting in the warm candlelight. He’s sitting on his haunches, tip leaking at the sight of you. Spreading your legs a little wider, you notice Sylus’s crimson eyes dropping to your cunt.
Battling himself, he counters, “And what if I hurt you, sweetie?”
“You won’t!” You exclaim in your desperation. “You won’t, baby, so please, just fuck me already,” you plead. His jaw tenses as he considers your eagerness.
At last, he agrees, “Alright. But if it hurts, we stop, darling.” You nod fervently, your heart rate spiking as he shifts over you and grabs a condom from his bedside table.
Sliding it on, your boyfriend positions himself between your legs. With a final few rubs to your clit, he slides his covered tip up and down your folds. You moan, back arching slightly at how good it feels. But once he’s dipping into your hole, all of that pleasure dissipates.
It’s like you’re being split open; he’s so thick. You bite down on your lip, stifling your screams as your fists clench the black sheets.
“It’s too much, isn’t it, kitten?” Sylus stops, barely inside, and stares at you. You shake your head energetically.
“No, no, it’s fine, baby! I’m fine, really,” you insist, but he can see right through you. Pulling the head out, it slaps against your clit, making you whimper.
“Syyyy—”
“No. I refuse to hurt you, sweetie,” he murmurs, yanking off the condom and tossing it into a nearby bin. Leaning over you, he places his large hands on either side of your head.
Your boyfriend kisses your forehead and mumbles against it, “We can do anything else you want, but not this.” You know you should just accept his words and move on, but something drives you to retaliate.
“I’ve done this before, Sy. It’s fine, like,” you shrug. He shakes his head, silver locks tickling your skin. His nose brushes yours, hot breath dousing your lips.
Sylus’s voice is a deep rumble as he asks sternly, “You’re telling me that your previous partners have… gone ahead when you’re clearly in pain?”
“It’s not that big of a deal, Sy—”
“It is,” he grumbles. “It’s a very big deal, sweetie.” Drawing back, he lowers himself onto one elbow while his other hand cups your cheek.
Stroking your cheekbone with the pad of his thumb, he says firmly, “Your pleasure comes first, is that clear? I won’t hurt you, even if you’re used to the pain.” Your resolve immediately falters.
“Sy…” you whisper, a loving warmth spreading throughout your body.
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you tug him into you. His cock is sticky against your inner thigh, and he’s so heavy, but you don’t care. His rare sincerity is what you live for, especially when he’s so sweet during moments like these.
“I love you,” you confess quietly, rubbing your cheek against his. Those muscular arms hold you tightly, reassuring you that not even death can pry him away from you.
“I love you, kitten,” he says low, peppering featherlight kisses on the shell of your ear, and down to your lobe before nipping at it affectionately.
You spend the night being pampered by Sylus. He showers with you: cleaning you up, drying you off, and moisturising your skin before you can do the same for him. You sleep in his meaty arms, your cheek squished against his broad chest, so you can listen to his soothing heartbeat.
The next morning, you wake up to empty bed sheets, which smell like leather and oud.
Sighing, you roll out of bed and freshen up. By the time you make it to the kitchen, there’s a note on the countertop. You pick it up with curious fingers and read your name in Sylus’s handwriting. Flipping it open, the note reads:
Good morning, sweetie.
Breakfast is in the oven. Text me when you’re ready. There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.
Yours truly, Sylus.
Giggling to yourself, you set the note down and crouch to the oven’s level. The light is on, a golden pastry glittering beyond the glass.
You pull the door open by the handle, sugary heat rushing out. Slipping on an oven mitt, you pull out the baked goodie and shake it onto a plate.
“Awww,” you pout. He got you a croissant from your favourite bakery and kept it warm. You almost tear up from the tender gesture while making yourself your morning non-negotiable beverage (for me, it’s peppermint tea, but I know y’all might like coffee).
Setting your mug down on the island bench, you haul your croissant over to you and take a bite. The puff pastry is crunchy and deliciously sweet. It melts on your tongue; the butter is rich. Your tastebuds relish in the delicate flavour, a low moan falling from your now sticky lips.
Humming fondly, you finish your croissant and enjoy your drink before texting Sylus that you’re awake. He responds immediately with Come to my office, kitten.
After rinsing your plate and mug, you scamper off to your room and throw on a decent outfit before heading to Sylus’s office. There’s no sight of the twins as you navigate the halls, nor as you stop outside the door. Rapping on it a few times, you hear your boyfriend’s muffled voice permitting you entry.
Pushing the door open, you’re greeted by the sight of your handsome lover. Fitting black button-up, tousled silver locks, and rimless glasses perched on his sharp nose. He beckons you to come closer. Once at his side, you press a kiss to his cheek.
“Morning, babe. Thanks for the croissant,” You chirp. He hums low, pecking your jaw and encircling your waist with his arm.
Pulling you onto his lap, you squeal gleefully, “Sy!” He shifts you so that you’re facing his monitor, your legs dangling over his. It makes him chuckle, seeing how cute his girl is.
Grabbing his mouse with one hand, he starts clicking away on the screen while explaining, “I’ve been thinking about last night, sweetie.”
“Mhmm,” you hum, your heart rate accelerating a little. Typing away on his keyboard, those arms encase your frame. You barely have time to register his search before he hits ‘Enter’.
“Dildos?!” You exclaim.
He smirks, “Don’t act so innocent, sweetie. I know you’ve used one of these before.” Twisting your back, you slap his chest playfully, earning an uproar of laughter from him. His chest vibrates against your back, making it difficult to frown as he clicks on a sex toy website.
“I’d like you to pick a few,” he grins cockily.
“Sy,” you sigh, rolling your eyes.
He drawls, “Let’s start with a small size, and then you can work up to my size. How does that sound, kitten?” His tone is gentler than usual as he heads to the filters tab and adjusts the results. You know he’s trying to help, and you appreciate it… But it’s just so embarrassing. Covering your face with your hands, you groan into them wordless frustrations.
“How about this one?” You hear the click of his mouse, your face heating up with the knowledge that there’s a dildo being enlarged right now for your inspection. Dropping your hands in your lap, they hit your thighs with a faint slap. You stare at a clear dildo.
“Look,” your boyfriend says. He expands the specifications and reads them aloud to you, “Great for beginners. Glass. Five inches—”
“Five inches?! They don’t have anything smaller?” You ask anxiously.
Five inches might not seem like a lot in today’s climate of booktok romance and fanfiction misinformation (myself included to an extent), but for you, who struggles with painful penetration, five inches with a good girth is not feasible for you just yet.
Sylus says gently, “Let’s have a look.” Hitting the back button, you watch red-faced as he scrolls through numerous dildos. Some are realistic, others transparent and streamlined. Six inches, eight inches, nine inches.
“Anal training kit. What about this, sweetie?” He hovers his cursor over the image, zooming in on three dildos ranging in size.
“Can you click it?” You ask, hand reaching for his covering the mouse. Your boyfriend releases it and allows you to control the mouse. You click on the product and read through the specs.
“Four inches. Made from PVC,” you recite.
Sylus remarks, “PVC isn’t body-safe, dear. Why don’t we browse another store?” Regaining control of the mouse, he closes the tab and searches for small dildos this time.
You two spend who knows how long going through several stores’ dildo selections. Finally, you settle on a set of dilators made from certified medical-grade silicone.
Your boyfriend happily pays the exorbitant price with a sincere smile and a promise: “You’re not alone in this, alright? I’ll be right here, kitten. If you have any issues, you know where to find me, yes?” Shifting in his lap, you nod and lean in, kissing him lovingly.
“Thanks, Sy. Thanks for supporting me,” you murmur. He nods slightly before returning to typing in his black card’s information.
Ever the accommodating partner, he lets you sit on his lap as he goes back to arranging shipments and taking business calls. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his Adam’s apple as it bobs, completely relaxed and content to stay like this for hours. He holds you tight when possible, but there’s no need with how securely you’re clinging to him.
“Something wrong, sweetie? You’re clutching me like a baby sloth does to its mother,” he teases.
You giggle into his neck, “Mommy Sylus.”
“Tch.”
“You were asking for it,” you grin, defending yourself. He rubs your back soothingly, his dark office silent. Until his ringtone blares.
Sylus reflects, “I suppose I was,” before answering the line.
…˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚…
“Your fingers are like—mhmm— this size, right?” You breathe out, clutching his wrist. You’re on your back, your boyfriend on his haunches as he eases a medium-sized dilator in and out of your cunt.
You’ve been using the dilators Sylus bought you most days of the week. It’s become a habit for you two to shower together and then insert a dilator before bed. Usually, you spend around 15 minutes adjusting to the size. But since you’ve been progressing quickly, your boyfriend wanted to try something different tonight (with your permission, of course).
He smirks down at you, “Curious, kitten?” You nod, your lip drawn between your teeth harshly.
Slowly, he pulls the dripping dilator out and sets it on a nearby towel. Climbing over you, he catches your lips in a tender kiss. The way he presses against you, the emotion in the rhythm, he’s asking for consent.
Drawing back, Sylus hovers close as you give your answer, “I want to try it, Sy. I think-I think it’ll feel good this time.” He hums, the sound reverberating deep in his throat.
Stealing a peck, he shifts and grabs the water-based lube that goes with the silicone dilators. Squeezing a decent amount on his rough palm, your partner smears the cool gel all over your pussy. His fingers slip up your folds, causing you to buck your hips. You moan quietly, heat rising to your cheeks like it did the first time he helped you insert a dilator. He chuckles low, squeezing more lube onto his fingers and rubbing it in like lotion.
“Alright, darling. Shall we start slow?” He teases, his silver brow arched. You hum in agreement, shimmying your hips closer to his lubed-up hand. Those slender fingers make contact with your aching cunt again. His fingertips roll over your clit; your breathing shallows.
“Sy,” you pant, encircling his wrist with your fingers once more. You slide his hand down to where you need it most.
With his signature grin, your boyfriend prods at your entrance. His other hand brushes your hair back, your eyes finding his in the disarray of anticipation. He slips his middle finger in slowly, whispering sweet encouragement as he does so.
“My, my, look at how well you’re taking me, kitten. Does this feel good?” You don’t respond as he pushes in knuckle deep. Already, you feel so full of him, but his lack of movement is torturous.
Gazing up with lustful eyes, you whine, “Sy, please.”
Leaning down, his nose ghosts yours as he repeats himself, “Tell me, darling. Does this feel good?” Arguing for the affirmative, Sylus curls his finger up, the tip pressing against your ridged walls in the most delectable way possible.
“Sy!” You squeak. “Feels really good. Please—” You rock your hips on his finger, desperate for more.
He chastely kisses your nose before steadying himself on his elbow to keep close to you. Sliding his fingertip down, your lover repeats the come-hither motion, shrewd eyes trained on your face. He observes every single detail, from your frequent lip biting to your eyes clamping shut from ecstasy.
The pressure in your tummy builds. But it’s not just in your tummy, it’s a little lower, too.
Drawing his now-drenched finger out of you, you mewl at the loss, “Sy, baby. Why-why’d you—”
“Quiet, sweetie, or you’ll miss the best part,” he murmurs. You open your mouth, about to ask him what he’s referring to, when you feel it. Two fingertips poking at your fluttering hole.
“Relax, dear,” Sylus instructs. A small whimper escapes your teeth-marked lips as he manages the tops of his two fingers inside. He remains there for a moment, letting you clench and unclench until you’re ready for more.
Pushing them in at a leisurely pace, he reminds you, “Now’s not the time to act all tough. If it hurts, kitten, you need to let me know.”
“Mhmm,” you hum, eyes on the lewd sight of his fingers sinking deep into your pussy.
A couple of months ago, you were in this position. Sylus’s fingers buried in your cunt, stretching you out. Then, he had been preparing you for his dragon dick what’s to come. But now, he was focusing on your reactions to ensure your pleasure.
Pulling his fingers out halfway, he eases them back in.
“This alright?” He asks lovingly. You nod, a quiet whine tumbling out of your lips.
Your boyfriend sighs, “Say it, darling,” while kissing the corner of your mouth. His fingers curl, making you gasp and moan. You gaze at him like you’re etching every angular feature into your memory (you already have).
“Feel really full, babe,” you manage out, pleasure wracking through your system as his fingertips hit your g-spot again.
Sylus clarifies, “How so? A good kind of full? Or is it overwhelming?” Your lips press together, muffling a sweet moan as he continues fingering you oh-so-deliciously.
“Good. ‘S good, Sy,” you whimper.
Turning your head, you nuzzle his neck with your nose. Sylus has never cared for when you hide from him, especially at a time like this. When he needs to see you, to pick up on all of the little things you tell him with your eyes and incessant lip bites.
Kissing your hair, he mumbles into your scalp, “Won’t you look at me, kitten?” Whatever you hum into his skin is lost as a guttural moan tears through you.
One good thing about you being so close to his ear is that your boyfriend gets to hear your pornographic sounds like they were amplified by state-of-the-art speakers.
He groans, cheeks rubbing the side of your head affectionately while slipping his free arm beneath and around you.
Rolling you onto your side, Sylus whispers, “Throw your leg over my hips.” You obey, doing exactly that as he pulls you flush against his chest. His scent alone makes you moan, and his body is so warm it makes your insides all gooey. Or maybe that’s from his fingers. Probably both.
The squelching of your sopping cunt fills the dark bedroom. Through the window, the stars gaze upon your intimacy. Perhaps they cheer for you, rejoicing in the pleasure you’ve been able to find in something so daunting months prior.
“Sy— fuck! I—” Your moan cuts you off, arms tightening around his neck.
You hold onto Sylus like you’re stuck in the middle of the ocean, fighting for your life, so you don’t drown in the depths. But your ocean isn’t filled with water. Abundant are the sensations rippling throughout your body. Every movement of his fingers sends more and more arousal gushing from you.
Pressure accumulates in the pit of your stomach once more. It feels like he’s pushing down on your lower tummy, but you know he’s not. Drawing closer, you feel like you’re gonna wet yourself.
“Sy, wait! Wait, fuck, feel like I’m gonna pee,” you exclaim. But your boyfriend doesn’t heed your warning. If anything, it spurs him on.
“Do you now, sweetie?” He murmurs all seductively, his breath fanning your ear. You try to respond, but all that pours forth are broken whimpers and breathy moans.
He chuckles, “Don’t be afraid, darling.” You cry out into his chest, one of your hands flying to his working forearm, and he presses into your walls harder.
“Sy! I’m serious, Sy! I swear ‘m gonna—”
“You won’t. Now, let go,” he commands, his voice all gravelly.
It only takes a few more pumps until you’re diving headfirst into oblivion. The pleasure is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. You can feel the mess you’re making, but you can’t seem to care as moans rip through you and your body convulses like you’ve been possessed.
“Fuck,” Sylus groans, watching as you squirt all over his hand and arm. It sprays onto his clothed thigh and drips onto the inky sheets. He’s never been more proud.
Your boyfriend praises you, “Look at how good you’ve done for me, kitten.” He kisses your sweaty hairline, your thighs clamped tightly around his still hand. Slowly, he slides his fingers out and draws them up through your folds. You whimper as he rubs a few lazy circles on your cilt, making your body jolt.
“Sy, please,” you rasp out. You’re exhausted, your limbs as mushy and pliant as he chuckles. Sylus gently maneuvers you onto your back and kisses your lips reassuringly.
He says low, “Stay here, sweetie, while I grab another towel.” You nod feebly, too weak to protest. Like you’d want to, anyway. The last thing you want to do is move right now, let alone follow your long-legged boyfriend off to the linen cupboard. And good thing you don’t, or you would have seen the wet patch at the front of his sweatpants.
Listening to the rustling of the bedsheets and thudding of his footsteps, your breathing grows steadier. Your eyelids feel heavy, as does your body. Next thing you know, Sylus’s callused hands are caressing your thighs, pulling them apart before he wipes you up with a damp towel. The soft, cool cotton is refreshing.
You sigh as you feel your partner’s warmth shift, his body hovering over yours. Plush lips place longing kisses on your brows, then your eyelids, cheeks, and finally, your lips.
He mumbles against them, “Was that your first time squirting, my love?”
“Mhmm, maybe,” you grin tiredly.
“Maybe?” He repeats before pecking your lips.
You giggle, “Yes.” Slowly, Sylus bundles you up in his arms and pulls you on top of him after lying down. His now-dry fingers stroke your hair, and his short nails occasionally scratch your scalp.
In his embrace, you release all your fears and doubts about this entire process. Never did you think this could happen. That you could 1) enjoy penetration and 2) squirt from it. But Sylus has shown you that through his love that anything is possible. Even though you’re not where you want to be, the improvements along the way have been nothing short of magical.

embarrassing/gone wrong sex moments m.list
star's final words: oh the vaginas ahem hymens i looked at in prep for this. not that i didn’t know what they were beforehand, but i def know a lot more now.

helpful links for your education:
cleveland clinic ⟶ what is the hymen? healthline ⟶ does it hurt when your hymen breaks? bien australia (these are the dilators i was talking about; i haven't used this product and i'm not promoting this product; i cannot attest to how effective they are) ⟶ vaginal dilators
#★’s works#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus smut#lads sylus#sylus x reader#sylus qin smut#qin che x reader
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Hello! I read your Ghost NSFW alphabet and it was amazing!! (Actually I've just been reading a bunch of your posts for the past 3 days your writing it amazing!!) I was wondering if you can do an NSFW alphabet for Cpt.Price please!
Thank you so much, anon! I really appreciate that. Of course you can have a NSFW Alphabet for Price! Enjoy!
written w/ gn!reader
Word Count: 900
nsfw alphabet template
CoD Headcanons / AUs / Quick Writes Masterlist
A = Aftercare
A staunch cuddler. Price enjoys snuggling after sex, acting as a weighted blanket. He’s all about lazy touches and slow kisses, sprinkling you with soft words of affection as the two of you come down.
B = Body part
An ass man. No question. Price either has his hands on it or touching in some capacity. Positions that allow him to palm your ass as he fucks you are his favorite.
C = Cum
Enjoys seeing the aftermath. Watching his cum leak out of all your holes flames his ego. Spread those legs and/or cheeks. Open your mouth and show him your tongue. He wants to paint you with it.
D = Dirty secret
During his first experience with bondage, Price confidently said he could use rope, but totally lied, and stumbled through it to the point that he gave up and had vanilla sex. (He’s much better at it now.)
E = Experience
Very experienced, and he knows what he wants. Price isn’t afraid to tell you how he likes to be pleasured, and he’s not shy about asking you what you like, or exploring new things with you.
F = Favorite position
Any position that allows him to view your ass as he fucks you. He’ll even take a position that allows him to grip your ass if he can’t view it.
G = Goofy
During sex? No. Price might tease you a bit, but it’s always flirty. He wants you to smile, to enjoy yourself, but when it comes down to it, he’s all business.
H = Hair
Well-groomed but hairy. He has a lovely dusting of dark brown hair across his chest and down his stomach, thickening slightly around his navel where it transforms into a healthy happy trail and a decent bush around the base of his cock.
I = Intimacy
Incredible at intimacy, especially in the moment and during foreplay. The lead up to clothes coming off is hit or miss, but in the act, Price has his full attention on you. Lots of praise and appreciation for your body.
J = Jack off
Not a chronic masturbator, but certainly jerks himself off if you’re not available to take his dick.
K = Kink
Praise, primal, daddy, some forms of impact play, situational public sex
L = Location
A traditional man that likes to be at home while doing the act, but he won’t let an opportunity slip past him. He’s down to fuck at work if it’s a quickie, or take you in the back of his car.
M = Motivation
Physical affection gets him going. Wrap your arms around him, tease the back of his neck with your fingers, trace circles on his back. Intimate touch sends all the blood in his body down to his dick.
N = No
Piss play. Not into it.
O = Oral
Certified muncher/sucker. Price is a giver rather than a receiver though he won’t tell you no if you want to go down on him.
P = Pace
Price is the fast and rough type when he’s the one in charge. He might say sweet things to you, but you can bet he’s fucking your brains out at the exact same time.
Q = Quickie
Always down for a quickie. Hardly matters the time and place. Don’t need to say anything either. Present a hole for him and Price is diving right in.
R = Risk
Totally down to experiment as long as both parties are agreeable to the risk. Price is willing to try anything once but he won’t try something if you’re not into it.
S = Stamina
Decent stamina. He can go a few rounds but give the man some room to breathe between sessions.
T = Toys
Price does not own any toys. If he acquires any, it’s because you bought them, or you were insistent on trying some out. He won’t go out of his way to purchase them.
U = Unfair
Can be a bit of a tease, especially if he feels like edging you, but all of his teasing is really to get you going and turned on.
V = Volume
Price isn’t loud, but the man is a grunter/moaner. When he’s about to come, his eyes are closed and that man is moaning/groaning, completely lost in it.
W = Wild card
Dom!Price enjoys purchasing customized collars for his sub for all occasions. Real leather. Real metal. Engraved. Maybe some gems or diamonds.
X = Xtra
At first, Price didn’t understand the appeal to wearing a mask during sex, but after a few experiences with it, he grew to enjoy it, especially with how much you liked it. But he won’t ever admit that to Ghost or anyone on his team that he tried it out.
Y = Yearning
Price yearns for you all the time. No matter the time of day or night or the day of the week, Price is always thinking about you, and will accept any advances you send his way.
Z = Zzz
As a staunch post-sex cuddler, Price will absolutely crash out after sex quickly. Expect snoring, his arms around you, and don’t think about attempting to wiggle away from him. Any movement will only result in him pulling you close again. Won’t even wake up either.
CoD Headcanons / AUs / Quick Writes Masterlist
#john price x reader#john price#captain john price#john price cod#captain john price smut#captain price#captain price x reader#captain price cod#john price smut#price call of duty#price cod#cod price#captain john price x reader#price x reader#price smut#captain price smut#captain price mw2#price mw2#price x you#captain john price x you#john price x you#cod smut#cod headcanons#cod hcs#john price headcanons#captain price headcanons#price headcanons#call of duty headcanons#call of duty smut
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You know that trend on tiktok about girls asking their boyfriends how mad they would be if a guy complimented them? i immediately thought of kells and how he would react
It's too hot and it's making me not want to write or do anything! Curses of having an old house designed to retain heattttt Requests are open for specific people only, please see my pinned post for details :) Writing Masterlist
You're not much of a poster on social media, but you are a watcher and sometimes you get shown those viral trends...you've seen more of the 'my current boyfriend' videos than you have fingers and toes at this point...and it's silly that you want to recreate it, especially when you know you're not going to film it or post it anywhere.
But, you can't get the idea out of your head...wondering how Clayton will behave, whether he'll care or not...it's stupid because you know that if you don't get the reaction you want, if he doesn't really notice, you'll be upset about it. It feels like setting yourself up for failure, expecting something you might not get from a man who's utterly secure in your relationship.
That doesn't stop you though when you're on the phone with your doctor's office within ear shot of Clayton, who's scrolling through his phone on the couch.
"Yeah, 2 o'clock's fine, my current boyfriend can drop me off." You don't look at him directly, just watch him from your peripheral vision as his head snaps up, eyes locked on you as the narrow. He doesn't interrupt your phone call, just puts his phone down, stands and waits until you hang up.
"What do you mean current?" He's crowding your space the moment you're off the phone, stepping into your personal little bubble, pursed lips, frustrated little furrow between his eyes that screams that you're in trouble with him.
"Mmm?" You play dumb, shifting look at him all wide eyed and innocent like you don't realise what you just called him. Clayton knows better though, narrow his eyes further, stepping as close to you as he can get, close enough that you take a step back, lip twitching to contain a smile.
"You said current boyfriend, baby?"
"Well, you're my boyfriend right now. Like my current boyfriend?" You're unable to contain your smile any longer, lips turning upwards at the edges and it's impossible for Clay to not smile back even as he keeps his eyes narrow, even as he tries to be annoyed at you.
"No, no..." Clay's walking you backwards, each step he takes forcing you to take a giggly step back until your back hits the wall. He leans over you, on hand on the wall just above your head, the other falling to your hip. You freeze like a deer in headlights, face flushing, body warming, an undeniable giddy little buzz in your tummy, "I'm your forever boyfriend actually, I'm your future husband, no current about it, baby."
"Bu-" You're not even sure why you're trying to protest like you're not elated that he's just said that, like this isn't what you wanted his reaction to be.
"Nope, see?" Clay's hand leaves your hip, dipping into the pocket of his jeans. He pulls a ring box out like he's been carrying it around for days, weeks, and the truth is he has been carrying it for months, waiting for the right time to ask. God, he's been waiting it feels like since the 3 month mark of your relationship, over eager, already fully set on you for life
"Clay..." Your mouth drops, voice soft, shocked and awed as your eyes zero in on that ring box, that promise.
"No, no i'm serious, i'm your forever boyfriend, okay?"
"Are you proposing to me right now?" You need the clarity, unsure if this is him just being silly or if...or if he's actually asking you right now while you're in your lazy casual clothes, leant against a wall.
"No, I'm telling you that I will be proposing at an undisclosed future date, baby, so I can then be your forever husband." When you look back up he's grinning at you, that dimple on the right side of his cheek on full display, teeth peeking out from behind his lips, eyes crinkled and soft. You can't help the fact you start to get a little choked up, eyes starting to water, lip starting to tremble slightly.
"You're going to make me cry..."
"You're the one that started that 'current boyfriend' bullshit."
"I was joking!"
#i haven't even done my usual read through so if this has major errors sorrry#clayton keller x reader#clayton keller/reader#nhl imagine#nhl x reader
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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐘!

ꪆৎ choso ⸝⸝ sukuna ⸝⸝ gojo ⸝⸝ ino wc.
summary. life as a streamer creates all sorts of potential interactions- whether between other creatives, or just some random person in a csgo lobby...
contains! ꪆৎ streamer au ⸝⸝ cosplayer reader (choso) ⸝⸝ some suggestiveness + downbadness lmfao ⸝⸝ nerdjo my beloved
𐔌 gia's notes! ☆⌒(ゝ。∂) woioi chat. i've been on such a 2020 first lockdown nostalgic kick recently im ngl... hence the title of this fic LOL. and lowkey the content too 😞 you can kinda tell that i ran out of steam while writing this... but o well
streamer!choso [@/ch0k4m0] who is relatively well known- technically, for his gaming abilities, though what solidified his online fame was his rather candid commentary, with seemingly no filter between his thoughts and the words that come out of his mouth. that, and his looks which had broken the internet when he had face revealed, catapulting him from a fairly unknown but well loved streamer to regularly getting hundreds of thousands of views on his streams.
his current streams mostly consisted of him working his way through resident evil. viewers could expect to see a decent progression within each stream due to choso not being completely useless at playing the game, alongside his dumb comments diminishing the fear factor of the franchise ever so slightly. and of course, his ever so subtle crush on the character ada wong.
'chat oh my GOD i've never been so in love with some pixels before'
'ada baby please, just one chance. i know that i'm 3d and you're 2d but we'll make it work'
every time a cutscene of her plays, there's an absolute torrent of messages and donations teasing him for his poorly hidden crush, ones that choso takes the time to properly read through during his breaks in the stream. such an occasion happens now, with choso reading out some random comments when a new donation rings out, the text to speech voice that comes with it bearing a demand
'choso you need to look up this account RIGHT NOW and look at the video they just posted'
his brow furrows as he reads the username, deliberating on whether he should actually follow those instructions or if his viewer was just trying to mess with him. ultimately, he conceded to his chat's wishes and opened a new browser window, typing it in.
a mere few hours later after the stream, you found your notifications to be blowing up more than usual. you had posted a new cosplay video earlier today, but even then there was a little TOO many notifications to be your usual audience. you noticed that you had been tagged in an edit, inclining you to click on that before wading through the likes and comments. every time that you received one it was a special kind of joy, with the knowledge that someone enjoyed your cosplays enough to inspire them to make something. you hear the music begin to fade in once the edit loads, though the intro clip has you confused as you don't think that you've seen it before.
obviously, you recognise choso, the handsome and funny streamer who got really popular recently, and one that you have unfortunately joined many others in appointing as your resident e-crush. you weren't big on watching streams, but every time a clip of choso appears when you scroll, you can't help but watch the whole thing, partially for its entertainment value, and partially because of just how cute the guy looked on your phone screen.
so really, it was quite the surreal experience to hear your username fall from his lips as the clip plays on your phone, and you watch the edit in disbelief
'am i spelling this right, chat?'
'and the latest video, right- oh it's, holy fuck-"
the beat then kicks in. clips of your ada wong cosplay flashing across the screen, one final flashbang of choso's face as he watches your video with an almost comical expression of awe. you're left absolutely flabbergasted as the video begins to loop, clicking on the comments to see what the hell was going on
'get in damn line choso 😩'
'BROOOODJFNSJG I WAS WATCHING THE STREAM AND I JUST KNEWWWWW SOMEONE WAS GONNA MAKE AN EDIT WITH THAT CLIP 😭😭😭'
'the stream was like 2 hours ago this edit was so fast wtf'
'it should have been meeeeeee ughhh'
'the way choso scrolled thru her ENTIRE account and then followed her... that man's finally got a crush on a real personnnnn'
that last comment captures your attention specifically, and sure enough, you see his username amongst your many new followers. it pays to get noticed by a popular streamer, you suppose.
and then, to your utmost surprise, you also see his name pop up within your dm requests
@/ch0k4mo: sooo are you in need of a leon kennedy by any chance
the dm isn't exactly suave, but it has its intended effect as you blink at your screen as you process it, finally letting out a squeal of excitement, screenshotting the message shamelessly. your friends are not gonna believe this. and then, only after running laps around your room and waiting for your erratic heartrate to return to a normal tempo, you type out a shaky response.
@/yn: funny that you ask that, cos i had a few video ideas in mind ;)
you can only hope that on the other end of the line, choso is having a somewhat similar reaction to yours.
streamer!sukuna [@/kingkuna] who is notorious for causing chaos online, whether on fps games such as cs and valorant, or even on the more inane roblox games where he makes a living off of terrorising little kids. actions speak louder than words, though the streamer is quick to utilise both when instilling terror on whichever server has the misfortune of having him
'i do this for the love of the game, chat'
'well, that, and because bullying little runts is fun'
all of these actions, streamed live every wednesday and friday, helped to garner sukuna a rather.... distinct reputation.
despite being considered an asshole for all intents and purposes, sukuna had somehow amassed a following, all from his persona of being an online troll.
so this week's particular stream was especially shocking to his fans for all of the wrong reasons.
it started off like any other stream, sukuna casually reading off the odd message in his chat whilst preparing for the stream, retorting some snarky comment that has the chat getting more and more riled up, all with a shit-eating grin on his face.
it was more or less a love-hate relationship between him and his chat, though everyone seemed happy with the dynamic, expecting no less from the streamer.
this stream in particular was particularly anticipated, if the steadily increasing viewcount in the corner was anything to go off of, probably due to the fact that this wasn't quite like his other streams. despite the countless hours of his content, very little was known about sukuna, and as a 1 million subscriber goal, the man had acquiesced to people's demands for a q&a.
it started off as well as it could have, with rather generic questions rolling out. but of course, knowing sukuna's audience (and his lenient moderators), some raunchier ones started to worm their way through
'does it... jiggle when i walk? mods, get this clown out of here'
sukuna rattles through the questions, his fans clearly revelling in his embarrassing childhood stories, in the knowledge that his hair is not dyed, and how he views his streams as training to continue defeating his nephew in fortnite whenever they play together.
and then, finally, the fated question
'kingkuna i have to know for all the ladies out there... do u have a gf??'
it's a special donation message, one that rattles off loud and clear in a way that absolutely cannot be missed, though with the amount of time it takes for him to respond, he may as well have.
'hm, wouldn't you like to know?'
there's a torrent of outraged messages, before a deep booming laugh emits from the man.
'ehhh, i'm just fucking with you. of course i do, she's my forever girl.'
there's another torrent of messages in chat, though they're now oohing and ahhing at just how uncharacteristically sweet the streamer is being. his eyes flit over the incoming messages, his grin widening as his gaze lifts to somewhere beyond the webcam's reach.
there's a silent exchange, no words needed before sukuna reclines back in his chair, his legs spreading as he makes room for whoever's coming into frame.
'she's right here, too. everyone say hi to y/n'
and when she situates herself right on his lap and his arm wraps around her waist, the chat goes crazy. the streamer seems to remember his regular image, cackling at the desperate onslaught of messages eager to get even a morsel of information about the two of you, instead starting to click away at the preparations needed before he ends the stream
'oh would you look at the time, looks like i'll be having to end the stream now. see you suckers on wednesday'
'byeeeee!'
you can't help but chime in, giggling and waving right at the camera before the stream shuts off, and you feel sukuna begin to truly relax into his chair, shuffling you impossibly closer to his chest, hugging you to him and burying his face against you.
'aww, you big baby'
'dunno what you're talking about'
you giggle at your boyfriend's antics, though definitely used to them by now. instead, you get comfy, letting sukuna use you as his personal pillow as you card through his hair with one hand, the other unlocking your phone and you begin to scroll through twitter. #kingkuna1m was already trending thanks to the premise of his livestream, and you can't help but click on the tag, looking through some of the most recent tweets.
'never would i EVER have expected SUKUNA of all ppl to be relationship goals'
'praying on his downfall fr 🙏🙏🙏 he doesn't know how good he has it'
'he's so EVIL for ending the stream like that omfg'
'the way he looks at her IM SICKKKKK ☹️☹️☹️☹️'
that last one comes with a video, a hasty screen recording of those last few moments of the stream as you wave at the camera, though you're focusing on the shamelessly lovestruck expression on sukuna's face as he watches you. it's enough to have you giggling and kicking your feet right in his lap, and he grumbles, his spare hand catching onto your flailing ankle
'quit squirming, brat'
'but you're just so cute, kunaaa'
you show him your phone screen, and it's your turn to study his face as he looks at the video impassively, though he can't hide the little twitch of his lips.
'my camera must be faulty, gotta get a new one'
streamer!gojo [@/sago] who is affectionately known by his fans for being a big fat nerd. it's not like he tries to hide it, the background of his setup decorated avidly with all sorts of posters and memorabilia from his favourite shows and games. compared to other streamers, too, gojo wasn't one to particularly shy away from details of his personal life, his laidback and easygoing persona making it easy for people to become regular viewers of his streams.
on said streams it was commonplace for his chat to ask him questions about himself, and more often than not he would give them an answer- and on one of these such occasions is when he let slip the fact that he had a roommate. and that in itself isn't anything too worldbreaking to hear, but it's the way he almost lights up as he mentions your name that has his fans intrigued.
even more interesting is gojo's reluctance, for lack of a better word, about relinquishing more information about you. how quick he is to change the subject, or act as if he never read the original message at all.
and in an impressive effort which has the streisand effect in strong contention to be renamed to the gojo effect, this only further instils a need for his fans to know everything that they possibly could about you.
it's arguably one of his most well-loved bits with an incredibly long longevity, with a large amount of fanmade compilations of him at least alluding to it
'who's my roommate? i'll let you know when i find out'
'come back with a warrant, fed'
'that's some very personal information there which i would be hesitant to spread online. what do you MEAN i was telling you all about where i grew up 2 minutes ago-'
(you get the picture)
therefore, it's a rare and delightful treat whenever a new tidbit about you is let slip by the streamer. the day that your name got accidentally revealed by him on stream was a day for the books. and of course, since gojo's fans were deranged, your insta account and subsequent face reveal were soon to follow.
and once the cat was out of the bag, gojo seemed to begrudgingly relax about your secrecy. you started popping up in streams a bit more often, usually just a face peeking in to the room of gojo's setup, a sneaky wave that satoru would notice later and grin to himself about. he's got a highlight reel of your appearances on his twitch profile that he likes to rewatch more than he cares to admit.
one time, he even had you sat next to him during a just chatting stream, the two of you shooting the shit. his fans were quick to point out how red the tips of his ears were throughout the whole stream. and how he looked at you like you hung the moon and stars whenever you spoke. and how he kept looking at you like that even when you weren't speaking.
it was never official, but satoru's feelings for you were.. rather obvious to anyone with the time to tune in to his streams. his touchiness regarding you seemed to make a lot more sense now, and became the newest aspect of satoru's life for his chat to ruthlessly mock.
today was just a regular stream- some mindless shooter game that satoru was way too invested in, no mentions or guest appearances of you. until now.
the door opened in the background of the stream- satoru's eyes flick up just before the door even moves, as if he had a sixth sense just for you- and you storm into the room, closer to annoyed than your usual cheery self.
'toru, you forgot to take out the bins. they're being collected tomorrow so don't leave it too late
and just like that, you're gone again. there's not even an ounce of hesitation before satoru is getting up from his desk, headphones coming off despite the yells of his teammates for him to stop fucking around and help them rush a.
chat is making their usual comments, a spam of their love for you and excitement that you've made an appearance. a few keener watchers were geeking over the toru nickname that's sure to make their way into the next y/n and gojo compilation video.
and despite all of this, satoru's heading out of the room.
'my girl's mad at me guys, i gotta go fix it'
and he's only gone for a few minutes, at most. but it's like an implosion of oncoming messages, all scrolling past his screen with no eyes to see them.
gojospinkietoe: FIRST TORU THEN MY GIRL!!!???? OHHHH MY GOD 🥺🥺🥺
iwatchmen: the gojoyn fans are gonna loveeee this
gojoyn5evrrr: SOMEONE CLIP THAT
funnily enough, satoru doesn't even realise the slipup until he's almost back to his room. at least he can blame the blush this time on having to have gone outside very briefly.
it's not exactly the same as his usual slipups when it comes to you- usually, there's at least an element of truth to them, but this appears to be sourced from somewhere deeper in his brain, a lot more of a subconscious desire that he hoped wouldn't breach into the conscious realm.
not until he was ready, at least.
streamer!ino [@/yunglean4ever] who's more of an up and coming streamer.. but he's slowly and steadily making his way up the rankings!! his game of choice is usually an fps, with his default usually being csgo. or something like that. he enjoys the straightforward nature of it. and teabagging his opponents when he's in the mood to be a little shit.
during these livestreams he's met many a different player, some friendlier than the regular silence or automatic irritated mood that most seemed to have- or some russian guy screaming words into the mic that was anyone's guess as to what it meant.
and while interacting with said teammates is always a promising aspect of entertainment, ino wasn't one to remember most of these interactions, save for a few especially distinct ones.
one such occasion is when he meets you. you've got your mic on, which is always more appealing for ino than having to communicate via typing or reading chats, and even better is the almost instant connection that the two of you make. you giggle at his silly username, he indignantly defends his love for drain gang, and the rest is history.
one match played together turns into a friend request, which turns into becoming a party, which turns into playing duos, which turns into goving each other your discords, which turns into many more rounds which extend way after ino ends his stream.
it was merely a start to this new... something, but with the way that ino caught himself laughing a little too hard at your mildly funny jokes, he had a feeling that it would turn into something much more.
so when he boots up his pc the next day, it's not much surprise to him that there's some giddy emotion that he feels when he says a message from you
'wanna play? had a lot of fun last night w u :D'
he couldn't type out a response fast enough to contain his excitement.
⋆˚࿔ jjk masterlist
⋆. 𐙚 ˚ ... or, try reading hopelessly devoted to you
#kamo choso x reader#choso kamo x reader#choso x reader#choso smau#choso fluff#sukuna x reader#sukuna smau#sukuna x reader smau#sukuna fluff#sukuna x reader fluff#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo fluff#gojo x reader#gojo smau#gojo x reader smau#gojo x reader fluff#ino x reader#ino x reader fluff#takuma ino x reader#ino takuma x reader#ino fluff#takuma ino fluff#ino smau#ino takuma smau#takuma ino smau#jjk smau#jjk x reader smau#jjk x reader#jjk fluff
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.⋆♱ please, baby ୭˚. ᵎᵎ

is he desperate? yes. does he care? not really. all he wants is to be back in your arms. he will do anything for you.
rafayel x f!reader ꩜ exes to ?? ꩜ him being desperate
note first lds post! i just wanna post something to ease my mind n i love desperate men <3 i might write a part 2 of this with smut (but who knows) anyways, enjoy!
It's been six months since your breakup with Rafayel. What has he been doing in those six months? Well, he's been painting your portrait, singing sappy songs, annoying Thomas (even more), and crying.
Sounds pathetic, am I right? But can you blame him? He's never been this in love with someone to the point he is willing to look like the desperate ex.
Your breakup was mostly mutual, well, in your point of view. In his own point of view, he was against it but wanted to make you happy. So he agreed to breaking up.
How did you break up with someone like him? It wasn't an easy feat, especially given how he reacted upon hearing it.
"Rafayel, we should break up. I don't think we are working out. Take care of yourself," as those words fall from your mouth. He charged towards you and started crying in your nape.
Tears started to fall even more as he tried to come up with a response.
"Yn, please don't go," he sniffs. "I don't care if you have to use me. Please stay with me," as he tightly pressed himself to you.
You break away from his embrace and face him.
"Rafayel, are you hearing yourself?" while looking into his tearful eyes. "Let's part now. Don't contact or find me. We are finished," you angrily said as you walked away from his figure.
That day was one of the worst things that happened to him. He wishes to never ever feel that way again. He wanted to forget you, but the problem is he is still completely and utterly in love with you.
This is where operation "getting back with my ex" begins; it starts with a call. He hasn't contacted you within those six months out of respect for your request, but this time, he will get you back.
A caller ID called you as you were finishing up your work. "DN" was written, and you knew exactly who it was and answered it.
"Rafayel, this better be important," you sighed through the call as you waited for him to talk.
"Yn, look. I know you told me not to contact you, but I think we should start over," he said as he waited for your response.
"Don't be stupid, we are already over," you frustratedly tell him; you don't need this amount of headache before lunch.
"Okay, I'm stupid, but please hear me out," he desperately pleaded to you.
"The answer is still no, bye," as you hung up.
It didn't stop Rafayel from pursuing you. He started to send you gifts to your house, from bouquets of flowers and jewelry to luxury clothes.
Your phone buzzed, and a notification from him popped up. As you opened his message, you were surprised with a pic of himself.
Half naked with only a towel draped over his bottom half. Water droplets are still prominent on his body, which shows he just came out from the shower.
The pic was accompanied by a message, "For your eyes only ;)." You were baffled, to say the least.
"Thanks, I like it," you replied before placing your phone down and continuing to bake.
He patiently waited for your response, and to his surprise, you actually responded. All it took was a post-shower picture to get your reply.
"I'm glad you like it, but you can have the real deal iykyk ;)," as he pressed send, he waited for you to respond.
"Okay, let's meet up at my place. 9:00pm, you better be on time. See you later, pretty boy," you replied while you finished cleaning up.
Rafayel beamed from ear to ear as he read your message. This will be a long night.
#love and deepspace#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#lnds rafayel#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel x you#rafayel x mc#rafayel love and deepspace#rafayel fics#rafayel lads#rafayel smut#rafayel fluff#love and deepspace smut#rafayel#lads smut#lads fluff#lads fics#rafayel imagines
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This is me being 100% petty, but how does it feel knowing that Jikookers were actually right about almost everything we said regarding the military and the buddy system…. and based on publicly available, factual information at that?
I’m not sure how many people remember, but we spent months pushing back against misinformation being spread by the cult, solos, and Jikook antis… all because they couldn’t handle the fact that Jimin and Jungkook enlisted together. We were constantly fighting off twisted narratives about how the buddy system works, only to be dismissed and called delusional.
Remember when Jungkook confirmed he was a cook? A certain JJK account on Twitter made a post claiming that cooks slept in a separate area and only spent time with other cooks. Somehow, that got spun into the idea that Jungkook couldn’t stand being around Jimin and chose to become a cook just to get away from him. That narrative spread like wildfire, and the antis used it for months to drag Jikook all based on completely false assumptions.
We tried to clarify, we tried to explain that that’s not how the buddy system works, but no one wanted to hear it. We were delusional for even trying to push back with facts.
Now, looking back, it’s almost funny how everything they claimed turned out to be wrong, while Jikookers, the ones who actually took time to research and understand how the system works were right all along. And still, the fandom crucified us, accusing us of romanticizing involuntary military service just because we dared to celebrate the fact that our faves didn’t have to go through such a difficult time alone.
News Outlets: Jimin and Jungkook would be enlisting together.
🐑: “Don’t trust the media. Trust only Taekook. That is totally Hybe paying the media to say that to feed jokers.”
Bighit: Jimin and Jungkook would be enlisting together.
🐑( Jay Mina and minions) : “Don’t worry guys my friends from the 1million and one imaginary group chats I am in said they would be separated after 5 weeks. They are Koreans who have been through the process so they know. Don’t mind jokers, they will be slapped in the face after 5 weeks.”
5 weeks later:
Kmedia: Jimin and Jungkook have been deployed to the artillery battalion in the 5th division.
🐑 : “DON’T trust the media. They are lying. We only trust TAEKOOK”
Jimin writes letter mentioning him and Jungkook are doing fine
🐑: “Don’t mind the queer baiter. Jungkook is definitely not with him and Jokers will be slapped in the face soon. Just wait and see.”
Jungkook: “I cook in the military” ( paraphrasing)
🐑 (the cult and JJKs) : “Cooks sleep in a very different unit. Jungkook chose to become a cook because he couldn’t stand being around #that member LMAOOOOO!!! "
Jungkook: “Jimin and I sing together, shower together, spend time together……..”
🐑: (Ignore him) Those who don’t ignore him: “so what? They are in the same base so they probably see each other once in a while. They all shower together! It’s not a honey moon…… "
🐑: “They don’t room together”
Jimin: “Jungkook and I are in the same dorm.”
🐑: “He is lying. He is a liar just making things up to feed his cult! Jungkook is not around that p!g!”
Jikook: “We slept together, made plans together, Jungkook slept on my arm, Jimin always wasted time when I told him we should go shower……”
🐑: Egg in faces but act all cool
See Jimin at airport traveling.
🐑: “See? They get a vacation and Jungkook chases to spend it farthest from that member LMAOOO”
A few hours later: Jungkook at the airport travelling too💀
These are just a few examples that come to mind, but honestly? It’s frustrating. We were treated like irrational, delusional shippers when we were the only ones trying to speak from a place of reason and understanding. The disrespect and lies were loud. We have been vindicated but it’s crazy how these people just moved on like they didn’t spend 18 months spinning narratives that ended up blowing up in their faces.
#jikook#jikook antis#the cult#I cracked myself up writing this tbh!#no but seriously#those were some hard times
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Okay so I very unwisely got tumblr because of a girl and things with said girl are confusing af but basically being on tumblr doesn't affect that anymore. I was thinking about getting off of it but I found your posts and they alone are worth staying on for.
I can't figure out how to find other blogs to follow though.
I figure since you're the thing that I like about the site, I might also like the things you like, so i was wondering if I could ask you to share some blog recommendations?
Easiest recomendation is my older sister, @lizardho. Very similar childhood, very similar writing style, if you like my writing you'll love hers too. I consider this her finest piece at present. It's an easy rec. We are incredibly similar people.
If we're doing similar writing styles, me and @foldingfittedsheets often get mistaken for each other. No relation, but again, we do a lot of slice of life work. From all her works, this is my favorite story and this is my favorite comic.
For my standard writers pack, there is teaboot, prokopetz, and gallustromegalus, and derin. They tell a lot of anecdotes and they all have great styles. Gallus is probably my favorite but it's fierce competition and they all come highly recomended. Not tagging them because they have huuuuuuge followings and I don't want to pester them.
For people that I consider significantly underrated: There's @drenamigmo / @drenamigmofridgemagnets . Amazing storyteller. Small body of work publically available right now, but the two stories in this post are just achingly beautiful. They have an AO3 called "aterriblewriter" (I need to give them more shit for that, they are actually incredible) that I check kind of obsessively for new writing. They also write league fanfic, so if that's your thing, I'm jealous. I wish I loved league more just so I can enjoy more of their writing.
I really like @miseria-fortes-viros. She has two stories from Greek mythology that I consider the two finest uses of tumblr itself as a medium. You'll see it if you clickeither of these: This one is about Orpheus and Eurydice, this one is about Icarus. She tells anecdotes sometimes, and this one about a welding class she took is again, fantastic, but it's not her bread and butter, it's just a rare and unexpected treat. You also get to watch her slowly dissolve into madness as everyone with a bad literature take seems to go out of their way to die by her hand.
If you like my earlier fiction works, @spyglassrealms writes scifi that is frankly much better than mine. I followed him to learn about worldbuilding. I stayed for his worlds.
And for my final note: I am not normally a big anime guy, and I generally avoid the stuff. BUT. But. This piece by @hakeism is one of the most bafflingly moving stories I have ever read. One of my favorite cultural changes of the last decade has been a general shift away from irony back into sincerity, and Hakeism writes so incredibly sincerely about absolutely ridiculous things that it warms my heart. They take life seriously, even when it's stupid, because life is always stupid and yet it must be engaged with. The fact that it is stupid is no excuse for refusing to participate in the world. We must, in the words of Fraggle Rock and Ben Folds Five, do it anyway.
#very long answer#but well done i think#this is my collection of artists#also thank you for your kind words about my writing#it really is my favorite thing about myself :)
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#i will preface with this issue has gotten better in the last year (used to be 80% of the main tag and now it's under 50% which I appreciate) #so thank you to everyone who's aware and have been responsive in keeping things contained off the main dp tag #but on the situation here are my thoughts: #i'd argue most ppl in the dpxdc fandom have never seen any actual danny phantom episodes #we joke in the dp phandom like 'fuck canon it's a dollhouse we do what we want' #but that's just a joke #even if it's not perfect the dp characters still have personalities stories and goals in the OG show #so i see things posted and im like ???? this is not these characters at all ???? #they share names and descriptions sure but they don't share anything else #i've also seen people in dpxdc on reddit and stuff saying things like they 'revived the dp phandom' and other disrespectful things #we were always here #we're a small phandom sure but we're very active with events every year #u did not 'revive' us #i have to say this every time but im NOT anti-crossover #i write crossovers myself #i've been interacting with OG dpxdc since way before it was a trend and it's what brought me into the dp phandom in the first place #and i know im far from alone in that #i love new people i always think it's wonderful #but just like know that dpxdc is NOT dp #and that's why people in dp get annoyed #well that and all these characters and this world that is very much a giant massive different fandom #so please leave the dpxdc off the main tumblr tag #we're too small and y'all overpower us here #i've made the mistake of accidentally flooding a small fandom before - we're all human and we all make mistakes #but i just quietly retagged my content and then didn't use their main tag moving forward #easy as pie (tags from @lexosaurus)
All of this. Like, DP does play fast and loose with canon, but it's still playing with canon. There's a basis that we all share that makes the characters recognizable, even when we throw them in AUs that explore how those characters would change due to the AU.
DPxDC of recent years, for the most part, does not share that basis. It takes the names and faces of characters in DP and characters in DC, and it builds its own fanon basis to fit the stories it wants to tell.
And there's nothing wrong with that! Fandom is a sandbox! Go play!
But don't go saying that you "revived" the Phandom sandbox just because DPxDC got popular. Danny Phantom on FanFiction.Net has been top 5 in the cartoons category since the early 2000's. It's only recently dropped to number 6. Phandom has a long history of events celebrating both canon and fanon. Heck, #dannypocalypse has gotten Danny Phantom trending every year on tumblr since its inception, to the point that Box Lunch has a Danno face enamel pin you can go out and buy. Claiming that DPxDC "revived" Phandom is disingenuous to Phandom history, and insulting to the pholks who have been here, building community and interacting with Phandom the whole time.
Phandom has always been in this sandbox, playing with our blorbos, building worlds that fill out our common basis in different ways. It kind of feels like we're getting steamrolled every time DPxDC folks suggest filtering the tags (a lot of us do) and blocking folks (a lot of us do) to not see DPxDC (we see it anyways because a lot of DPxDC folks still tag the main fandoms and don't tag the crossover). Folks who want to see DP and DC separately from DPxDC (which looks almost nothing like DP and almost nothing like DC for the most part) get hit the worst. They're forced to pick one fandom to block entirely - DP or DC - because of the lack of consistent tagging. It's really unfair.
A number of my good friends whom I met through Phandom have been driven out of Phandom because of DPxDC fandom behavior tied to the assumption that DPxDC has a common basis with Phandom (it doesn't, for the most part - mainly just common character names and appearances), the assumption that DPxDC "revived" Phandom (Phandom has been small but strong since before I stepped foot in Phandom), and the assumption from there that most of Phandom media is going to look like DPxDC media but without Batman or Constantine or Superman (a lot of it is very different from DPxDC character-wise and lore-wise and worldbuilding-wise). It's kind of disheartening, and it's antithetical to the idea of a "revival" of Phandom caused by DPxDC.
I guess, main thing I want to say is that DPxDC is its own sandbox doing its own thing. And that's wonderful! Have fun! Even I enjoy dabbling there sometimes! But Phandom and DC fandom are also their own sandboxes doing their own things. And sometimes - due to a lack of consistent tagging, but also due to assumptions made that are largely untrue - it feels like a number of DPxDC folks act like Phandom and DC fandom and DPxDC fandom are one and the same, when they're really not.
Again, there's nothing wrong with DPxDC having fun with fandom! But Phandom and DC fandom want to have fun, too! And it's a lot harder when the onus is placed on us to block tags and block people until our tag is clear of your fandom (which it never is). And even then, it gets complicated when a lot of Phandom folks would be fine interacting with DPxDC as its own thing, outside of the Danny Phantom tag; and it gets even more complicated when folks are in Phandom, and in DC fandom, and don't necessarily want everything about those fandoms to be overshadowed by a crossover that has taken on a life of its own.
finding out danny phantom fans are sick of dc/batman crossovers clogging THEIR tags is frying me idk why I never considered that. we are in the same damn boat omg
#because this is a reblog the following tags here won't put this in the main tags:#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc#bib writes#bib speaks#long post#i hope this doesn't come off as super frustrated#dpxdc is a fascinating fandom#but so is phandom#and so is dc fandom#and i do get frustrated when half my dash is dpxdc untagged#and half the danny phantom tag is dpxdc#and i'm sad that a number of my friends feel driven out of phandom by dpxdc#i'm not here to take it out on an entire fandom#but i think it's important to know and understand the harm caused by not understanding your history and making assumptions that are untrue#even in something that should be lighthearted like fandom#not a q
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Deeeee can you write something fluffy with touya? i just broke my own heart by rewatching the eps abt his past, and that 1 season 7 episode where he fights the whole todoroki fam.
WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS TO MYSELF. he just needs a hug :(( and some kisses
ILY MAMA <33 i hope you and baby are doing well!!
i waited until i had something cute to say abt him and none of the feral animalistic shit i usually say <3 content warnings: obviously post reveal, emotional intimacy, touya has emotions oughghha, short and sweet
the bathroom is quiet. in front of you, your boyfriend sits on one of the dining room chairs you dragged in front of the sink, bringing his head just below yours and eye level with the mirror in front of him. he's watching you in the mirror busy yourself with the dye brush and scissors, leaning back into the seat like he's trying to relax-- but he can't.
your eyes have caught his four times now. every single time they dart away-- like you're scared to look at him or something. he can't stop how his fingers drum along the fabric of his jeans, taut around his thigh.
his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. "you gonna keep avoiding it or say something?"
your eyes finally meet his in the mirror and he can visibly see the tick in your jaw. he'd call you out on the attitude but this conversation does need to happen at some point. you lean a forearm onto the back of the chair and tug softly at the ends of his hair. "are we trimming this?"
he eyes himself in the mirror. aside from his usual scarring, the only thing different about his appearance is the stark white hair that's greyed at the ends from years of black dye. and yeah, he's got some minor cuts and scratches, more burns that you've already scolded him about.
he doesn't look that different.
his lip curls a tad. "trim it."
your eyebrow lifts for a second before you shrug and push the dye set to the side.
in all the years you've known him, dabi has never told you why he dyed his hair. it took him a while to even trust you with the secret, but never told you details on why.
you found out a week ago who dabi really was. and for some reason, you still opened the door for him when he arrived at your apartment door. and if you caught his brief expression of surprise when you opened the door, you never acknowledged it. he doesn't know whether he's thankful or worried about that.
once his hair is wet and the scissors are in your hands, dabi finds himself oddly and somewhat relaxed once you get to work. little by little, the grey-ish darkened strands disappear from the mop of hair on his head. he's starting to feel more weird about seeing the hairstyle he hadn't seen since he was sixteen.
"if it's worth anything," your voice is always far too gentle in these moments with him, he thinks. nothing too sweet, but savory and warm. "i think you look good with white hair, touya."
dabi stiffens in front of you. that name is still too raw, still too fresh to be used openly like that. even in the privacy of your own bathroom. even in the intimacy between the two of you. it's weird and raw coming from your mouth. he's not used to it.
your hands pause with the current cut and they drop to the back of the chair. you want to grasp his shoulders, but his body language tells you that you've crossed a blurred line. you chew on the inside of your cheek as your eyes trace his tense features in the reflection. "sorry," is all you can think to say.
when dabi exhales, the breath of air is shaky leaving his lips. his lips press together in a firm line and his hand reaches back to grasp yours, pulling it to rest on his shoulder. you can feel him relax-- albeit not very much, but he still eases up when your thumb caresses his shoulder.
his thumb runs along your knuckles and when his eye meet yours in the mirror, he actually smiles a little. it's one of those cute, genuine smiles that he rarely ever gives you; the one that makes your chest squeeze and flutter like the first time you stumbled into him in that random alleyway years ago.
he doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't need to. he never usually does, his actions speak for him. and with the way he slowly softens over the following few hours, you know he appreciates your comments.
© accidentcache do not repost, translate or alter my work without permission. all rights reserved.
#cache money!#i love him dearly#sobs violently#lowkeyremi#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha x reader#bnha x reader#touya todoroki#touya x reader#touya todoroki x reader#dabi mha#dabi bnha#dabi x reader
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is there a charlotte Who To Follow list for other people that post good ? just some choice picks, cuz my hours at work got cut so i'm scrolling more and i'm tired of refreshing my following dash and there's no new posts
oooh great question 😁
@psygull my good friend roz who has great taste in media and Aesthetics and such :) great blog lots of tagging lots of eerieposting
@duckdotcom my good friend jon ^-^ very nice & can Poast
@gunksplunk followmaddy. do its now. bnuuy and other animals art👍
@crawfishcomic comik👍
@thatsbelievable (scrolling through my following rn) okay THIS is the first one that im actually really happy to be able to talk about like this. very comfortingly (to me) silly blog that posts snips perhaps from early 20th century newspapers in the Fucked Up And Weard Dimension. delightfully absurdist. really fun to have this blog around👍a treat
for that matter, @yesterdaysprint is also good if you want the real thing
@jame7t and @cryptotheism are a set i cant just recommend one at a time and also you have to follow both of them👍
@omegaversereloaded great taste in fashion and music which i can say even not being into all the same stuff. but i can still recognize a well curated palette🔥
@sealsdaily seals. daily
@nasukichan really really cute Girl art :)
@heathcliffbot heathcliff :)
@mewcharm really great furry art i love their deergirl luv a lot
@things-that-are-not-true <- lies blog
@seat-safety-switch really great creative writing
@mamamunny 🦌girl art............
@unteriors love this blog for how often it posts places ive been in my dreams
@medievaljournalist funnie
@reallyreallyreallytrying obligatory
@nilnco rlly cute animalgirls..
@wiki-but-made-them-up what it sounds like :p
@wordswithimages 🔥👍
@bonequest stupid fuckin comic
@best-thing poll blog. to find the best thing
@bunny-lovez really amazingly adorable girl art
@obligatorymorningfart funnie comics
@scoobydoomistakes very interesting to me
@aistobascistod silly anologies
@irish-american-chan admirable blogger
@wikicamp2
@preservationofnormalcy JUST found this blog today looks really interesting
#so ya:)#hey its exactly 30 yay^-^ cute#asks#my recs#hoping nobody here minds being @ed so sorry if this is not the case🫶
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I did the thing with "multiple oneshots as chapters as a single fic" exactly twice, once for a weeklong challenge I never finished and once where I was collecting stuff surrounding a single character. Now I know better, but I'm not sure what to do with the oneshots in the fics--I don't want to give my subscribers a bunch of bogus notifications, clog up the tags (they're both very slow most of the time), and I worry some of the oneshots don't stand on their own well (specifically, one I wrote that was supposed to be a prelude to a second I didn't write and feels half-finished as a result). But I still feel bad having the compilation fics continuing to exist on my profile. Any advice on what to do here?
I can't say for sure since this ask came in so long ago, but I'm guessing this thought came up in relation to a discussion about how posting one shots as chapters of a single work is actually not a great experience on the reader's side of things, a lot of the time.
I can see a few options for you, anon.
Post the oneshots separately, like you say, but backdate them. Since tags populate by most recent (as the default), backdated works won't go to the top of the tag.
Edit the works and add a first chapter Table of Contents so that readers know which fic is which.
Leave the works as they are. They've already been up for a while and you don't want to lose any comments/kudos that might be attached. Yes, those works can be annoying for readers but it's not the end of the world and they can manage. Post oneshots separately in the future and don't feel guilty about choices that you made in the past ❤️
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Imagine: villain (masked/hidden) choose one the city or your lover (y/n).
Hero leaves to save the city and y/n exposes themselves saying “you were right” to the villain (Bucky) if possible maybe a little angst abandonment and seeking comfort via buckyxreader with some smut if you have the time 👉👈 if you do thank you and please tag me I love your writing and I love saving to reread!
Take My Hand
Characters/Pairings: MMC x curvy Millennial female!Reader, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes Word Count: 13k Summary: You're brought into a plot that you never asked for, caught between two men, former best friends.
Content/Warnings: kidnapping; drugging; angst; explicit smut: vaginal fingering, oral (male receiving), unprotected vaginal intercourse, anal fingering
Notes: This was a the last piece leftover from the little request fest I threw when I hit 300 followers. This week I've just hit 3500. I've always had an idea of wanting to tell a story with this prompt featuring a post-Thunderbolts Bucky, and as time wore on and we got closer to the movie ACTUALLY coming out, it seemed better to wait and see what would happen. It only gave more for me to work into my original idea, and I'm really pleased with how it turned out now. I sketched out most of the outline and quite a bit of dialogue back in spring/summer of 2023, and the majority of that is still here, including the fic title.
Additional Note: Trotting this out for week WEEK FOUR of @buckybarnesevents' Hot Bucky Summer - it's free week, but I did use Anal Play and Aftercare here.
↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
The taste in your mouth is wet coins.
For a long, soft moment, you assume you must have rolled off your own bed and onto the floor, but the linoleum—if it is linoleum—is too cold and too smooth, and the air had that sterile, metallic nip associated with hospital waiting rooms and broken lightbulbs.
And why would you have rolled off your bed onto the floor? You weren’t in bed the last moment you remember, and you wouldn’t have fallen asleep in your clothes.
No, the last thing you remember was softly closing your front door behind you, humming to yourself as you flicked the lock closed, and then a sudden sting to your neck.
There’s a sting in your eyes now because you realize the awful truth.
The worst case scenario you and your boyfriend had only ever spoken about once because it was a viable possibility, a hazard of dating him: you’d been kidnapped.
You sit up, gracelessly, and your teeth chatter. You let yourself feel the terror, but only for a heartbeat—your brain rings with it, a tuning fork of dread, and you clamp it down, hard, into the pit of your stomach where it radiates. Not now. You need to think.
You take inventory: arms and legs both work, hands still attached, no obvious wounds besides the soreness blooming at your neck like a thumbprint on a peach. You press the tender spot and wince.
The room is not what you would have imagined for a kidnapping. It’s wintry and lit too brightly. You’re inside a small cube, walling you off with thick, aquarium-grade panels of glass. The encasement is large enough for you to reasonably pace back and forth, but there’s no furniture, no cot or even a pillow or a bowl of water. Whoever has taken you must not plan on keeping you here long, and that could be either very good or very bad for you.
Beyond the glass, the room is cathedral-big, with a single wall of windows running from floor to ceiling. Daylight pours in, and by your best guess it’s afternoon sunlight. Probably the same afternoon you were taken as you’re not hungry or thirsty.
Scratch that.
You are thirsty, but not uncomfortably so.
You swab your tongue around your gums, tasting metal and something else—something faint and sharp, like ozone during a summer thunderstorm. There is no handle or aperture on your side of the glass, only a seamless plane, and you get the sense that were you to pound your fists on it, it would barely quiver. Still, you raise your hand and press your palm to the surface, feeling its chill seep into your bones.
Nothing. No movement, no sign of life in the luminous cathedral beyond.
It isn’t fear that keeps you quiet, exactly. You simply know, with a fundamental certainty, that if you were to scream or shout, no one would come. You’re a captive sentenced to solitude until someone deigns to antagonize or rescue you.
The silence is not total. There is a white noise, a faint thrum—ventilation, perhaps, or some slow machine grinding in the bowels of the building. If it is a building. You aren’t sure what else it could be, but it feels crucial not to assume.
You check yourself for tracking bugs, but you’re still clothed: a hoodie, jeans, your comfortable sneakers. You didn’t dress for comfort in case of kidnap, but at least that went well for you with what the universe apparently had in store for you today. You have your watch - an old piece from your grandmother, no smart capabilities there, which is probably why it’s still on your wrist. No phone, of course, and your pockets are nearly empty. Lint in one and - thoughtfully for whoever this villain and their cronies are - your lip balm in the other.
At least you won’t have chapped lips.
You pace the perimeter, mapping the enclosure with your steps. Six and a half paces by five, three full circuits before your limbs stop feeling groggy and your brain thundering with each heartbeat.
After the third circuit, you crouch, and then sink down to the ground, pressing your back up against the glass, facing forward to the wall of windows. Unfortunately you’re not even close enough to the windows to catch any of the sunlight - would’ve been nice to be able to bathe in it sleepily like a housecat.
You count your breaths. By forty-two, you’re over it. You slide down the glass a little further, legs splayed. You rest your head against the glass panel and close your eyes, just for the luxury of not seeing where you are.
You are almost comfortable, almost numbed into resignation, when the silence is broken by a blunt, echoing clank.
You shift on instinct, drawing your knees up to crouch defensively, ready to propel yourself in either direction or attack if needed, though there isn’t much direction to go.
There’s a second clank, sharper. A shadow falls across the threshold, and then a white panel in the wall slides away like a bank vault, soundless, on hidden rails. The cold is sharper now, and you catch the smell of winter through the climate-controlled sterility: iron, gun oil, something so clean it’s almost dangerous.
A figure enters, and your surge of adrenaline is strong and immediate, tinged with hope, and your heart soars. This is not your captor, not a faceless goon or a hissing cackler like you’d half-expected. This is someone you know.
Bucky Barnes.
It’s not your boyfriend, but one of his old trusty allies, though it’s been a long time since he and Sam have worked together or even seen each other.
He is broader than you remember, hair falling in dark, soft waves around his face. He’s not in tactical gear, instead wearing a charcoal suit that fits him too well, like he used to when he was a senator. That’s when you’d first met him.
His eyes are the pale blue of a glacier's heart, flat and expressionless, and for a moment you think maybe this isn't Bucky. Maybe it's the other him, the one people used to fear - the old Winter Soldier, not the one who was part of the New Avengers, not the one who had worked with Sam, not the one they called the White Wolf.
He stands behind the glass, and you realize the panel has remained opened in the outer chamber, but not for you. It's for him. Your throat closes, choking on his name.
"Bucky?" you croak, and then wish you hadn't. The sound is needy, broken. You weren't going to be that person—someone who begged at the first sight of a familiar face.
He looks at you, head tilting very slightly, as if he's listening to music only he can hear.
“Are you hurt?” His voice sounds normal, maybe a little raspier than you remember, but still warm enough to seep through the wall and thaw your panic a degree. You shake your head. The glass does nothing to blur your expression, so you let it hang open, let him see everything you’re feeling, the fear and the hope braided together into something that tastes as bitter as old coffee.
Bucky studies you with that same tilted curiosity, the kind that makes you feel like he’s already taken you apart in his mind and knows exactly how you’re put together.
You edge forward, still on your knees. “Where’s Sam?” you ask, and the moment you say it, the question feels both necessary and perilous.
Bucky glances at the panel behind him, lips pressed together as if considering whether to share the answer or let it fester.
He glances over his shoulder. You realize then he’s not alone in the cathedral beyond. Two figures—faceless in sleek black, like chess pieces—stand sentinel behind him. They don’t move, don’t even appear to breathe, and a cold animal part of your brain registers that they don’t need to. They’re just there to watch.
He steps closer, so close his breath briefly fogs a patch of the glass between you. “He’s busy, but he’s on his way.”
Coolness spreads through your veins.
Bucky’s eyes flick to the corners of the cube, where cameras you hadn’t noticed are now winking alive, the power inlet’s red dots glaring. You’re being recorded—filmed, archived, maybe studied—and the revelation lands with a dull, resonant thud. You try not to show your panic on your face, but your body betrays you: fingers curl, jaw tenses, pupils go wide.
He is not here for a rescue. You know it before you know you know it.
"Why am I here, Bucky?" Your question comes out too steady. You want to throw something at him—your shoe, your voice, your fear—but there’s not enough space in this box for anger, only the condensation of every instinct you have, crowding in, begging you to understand.
“The safest place for you right now is here.” He says it quietly, like he’s apologizing, but the immediacy of it, the lack of debate, has your mind racing, his words in no way soothing.
“Bucky,” you say, “let me out.”
He shakes his head, almost fondly. “I can’t. Not yet.”
You stand, legs trembling, and you press both hands to the glass when you say, “Please. Whatever this is, don’t do this.”
You expect him to sigh or look away, but instead Bucky studies you with that lethal patience you’ve seen before, the one that made you want to work for his congressional campaign when you first met him, the one that made him a shrewd negotiator in the House of Representatives. He waits so long you want to scream, but then he raises his hand—slow, deliberate—and presses it to the glass, palm-to-palm with yours. Despite physics, you almost feel the pressure, the almost-heat leaking across the boundary.
"It’s already done," he says.
You stare at him, a thousand implications creasing into your mind, none of them good. "What have you done?" you whisper, because you know it’s not only about the kidnapping, not really.
Bucky’s jaw flexes, and, again, he doesn’t speak right away. His fingers splay, as if wanting to catch yours on the other side, and then curl into a fist, knuckles whitening against the cold.
“Technically speaking, I haven’t done anything yet,” he says. A smile, thin and wintry, crosses his lips. “But I did send a message.” He says it with the offhand air of someone admitting to forgetting to water their plants.
Your brain scrambles. “A message to who? Sam?”
He shakes his head, though not in the way someone would if they were lying. “To enough people at the top - Sam, Valentina, government officials.”
He waits for you to catch up. Sam hadn’t been able to tell you about the message he’d received - common when he got called away to do Captain America work - but he’d looked more concerned than usual.
You watch Bucky’s face for hints, for the shadow of an old self or a new one. Bucky, who once avoided all but necessity, has always been the kind of person who made statements with action, not words. But this—this was theater.
He leans a shoulder against the glass, as if the two of you are just tired of standing at a long party, finding a quiet spot together. “Do you want to know what it said?”
You don’t.
But you nod, because not-knowing is the same as being powerless, and you can’t bear the cold feeling of helplessness.
He cocks his head, almost gently. “It said that unless certain demands were met, a biotoxin would be released at the heart of Manhattan. Three hours for it to spread across the borough. After that, containment would be impossible. The message detailed three drop points for the ransom, and a protocol for negotiation.” He says it without bravado, a recitation of fact, as if he’s reading it from cue cards in his head.
You try to laugh. It comes out as a dry, shuddering guffaw. “That’s—cartoon villain stuff, Bucky.”
He shrugs, as if that’s the point.
You rub your hands over your face, and for a moment you are tempted to laugh harder, because this is what Sam always used to joke about: that Bucky operated on logic so clean it seemed mad, his thinking a locked-room puzzle with only one solution.
“Why?”
“No one was listening to anything else anymore.”
You swallow, but your mouth is dry again. “You could’ve called Sam.”
Bucky’s eyes flicker, and for a second you see the old pain underneath, a wince almost too quick to mark. But in its wake is an emotionless frown. “You know I couldn’t.”
Your chest hollows at the words because you know he’s right. He and Sam haven’t spoken for months, and the last time they did, it went poorly.
Bucky is watching you with a steady, unblinking intensity. You get the unsettling sense he’s rehearsed this conversation in his head, every line and gesture.
“Sam has forty-seven minutes to show up here and deliver the payment,” Bucky continues.
“Does Sam know it’s you?” you ask.
He considers the question, lets his eyes drag up and down the box, your body, your face. “No,” he says. “Not yet.”
“And what then?” You press. “He comes, you do your villain monologue, and what, he hands over cash and saves the day?”
“Untraceable cryptocurrency. And it’s not money I’m after.”
Bucky stands there, his blue eyes eating the distance between you. There’s a hush like reverence, like the building itself is holding its breath. Both of you are silent, and for a moment the glass between you softens, your memories of him rewinding to that first campaign event in the corridor of the Natural Hisory Museum, when he’d looked at you so long and so full of yearning, but you’d just started working his PR team days before, and neither one of you had wanted to cross professional boundaries. You’d met Sam later that night.
But that look… He’s looking at you like that now, older and sadder, but somehow more intent.
He presses his forehead to the glass, and it seems less like a threat and more like a confession. "You know," he says, voice low, "I still think about the night I introduced you to Sam. I wanted to kiss you then. Think I should’ve. Instead, I decided it would be less complicated to let my best friend take a chance with you instead. I knew you’d be good for each other."
The ache in your chest shifts, nostalgia and fear suddenly indistinguishable. You stare at the space between you and try not to let it show, the old hunger, the regret.
But there’s anger there now, too.
"You don’t get to say things like that," you respond.
“You can’t stop me.”
You want to spit or hiss or stomp at him, say something sharp and scathing, but your own feelings are scattered and skittering as you try to make sense of this situation.
“Don’t try and say you did this all for me,” you finally manage, and you almost sound angry.
And you are. But you’re also tangled by a feeling you’d buried years ago when you committed to Sam, convinced yourself that your short stint of longing for Bucky was little more than a whim. But it is still there, uncovered from a place you forgot existed, reverberating in your bones, making you ache.
Something in his face flickers, another microexpression so brief you almost miss it. He leans back from the glass, folding his arms, the suit tightening across his chest. “I won’t lie to you. This isn’t all for you, and it isn’t all for Sam.” His voice turns quiet, almost uncertain. “But if I didn’t want you, I would have done this without you. You weren’t necessary for the plan, but you’re certainly worth it.” He lets the words hang between you, sees the way they knot your throat. “So don’t doubt how much I want you.”
That admission robs you of the breath from your lungs. You only realize your jaw has dropped when he smirks.
“Now,” Bucky resumes, beginning to pace casually in front of you. You know it’s a move to momentarily lower the stakes given everything he’s just said. “Once Sam gets here, I’m going to offer him a choice: save you or save the city.”
“He’s going to pick the city,” you respond automatically.
“Oh, we both know that’s not even a question for our dutiful Captain America, but I want you to observe and assess how long it takes him to make the decision.”
Your brow furrows.
“He will disappoint you,” Bucky says.
“Bucky, don’t say that. Don’t be cruel.”
His eyes flick back to yours, and for a second they’re raw, not glacial at all, but blue as bruises. “I’m not trying to be cruel. I want you to see the world as it is. As I do now.” He pauses. “You once said only the honest stuff matters. Remember?”
You do remember. On the rooftop of a hotel in D.C., debating a speech draft, Bucky had said honesty was the only way to cut through the noise. You’d laughed—knowing how honesty had almost destroyed him once—and now you wished you hadn’t. You wished you’d listened more closely.
He presses his hand to the glass again, his whole body vibrating with something that looks like need and restraint, and maybe a dash of childish hope.
You want to hate him, but you can’t. Maybe you could if it were anyone else, if the person threatening your life and Sam’s career and the largest city in the country, hadn’t seeped into your heart so long ago.
And why was that romantic ripple resurfacing now when you’d been so content to have him platonically exist in your life?
You had been content with Sam.
You still were.
You look away, throat raw.
"And if Sam doesn't come for me?"
Bucky’s laugh is soft, brief, and not as cruel as a villain’s should be. "He will.”
And he does.
Same bursts onto the scene when there are only twenty-seven minutes left to save the city.
“All of this was you? All along?” Sam thunders at Bucky.
He still has a hand on the glass, having rushed to you the second he saw you were part of this messy situation, too, but his full attention was now on the other man.
Apparently your kidnapping is something Sam hadn’t discovered until this moment. Which made sense. He’d left your apartment to take care of the world, and it was still the same day. He hadn’t even had time to reasonably have figured out you’d gone missing.
“That explains why this whole area is a dead zone for Red Wing,” Sam adds.
Bucky’s only response: a shrug.
He oozes such nonchalance you know it’s boiling Sam’s blood more than almost anything else.
“Come on, man, this isn’t you,” Sam insists.
Bucky cocks his head to the side. “Except clearly it is. And isn’t it inevitable? Just going back to my roots, right? Like everyone said about me and the rest of the New Avengers. Only a matter of time until we reverted to our nefarious settings.”
Sam’s jaw tenses. “That’s not what I said. I never said that about you.” Sam’s voice is tight, incredulous but not, you realize, surprised. “You think I ever saw you that way? After everything?”
“No?” Bucky’s lips tick up at the corners. “Could’ve fooled me. You remember the last time we talked, right? The argument over who had claim to the team, the name, the whole damn legacy? You know I never wanted any of that. Valentina made sure my face was on the front page for her own benefit, not mine. That was her power move, not mine.”
Sam’s gaze doesn’t waver. “You let her.”
Bucky’s hands flex at his sides; the metal fingers twitch and sing against each other. “I let her because I knew where the real threats were. I thought I could steer if I had one hand on the wheel, if I knew what was coming, turns out I was wrong. You want to talk about legacies, Sam? You got to choose yours. All I ever got was a list of people to kill that just keeps getting longer.”
You can see the hurt behind Bucky’s words; it’s so absent of melodrama that it slaps harder than any shouted accusation. Sam stands still, breathing hard through his nose, shoulders squared for a fight neither of them wants but both are already losing.
“Bucky,” Sam says softer now, “I know you think this is the only way, but there’s always another way. Give me the protocol. I’ll fix it. I promise. You can trust me. You always have.”
Bucky’s laugh is ugly and quiet. “You’ll fix it? That’s the problem. Nobody wants it fixed, Sam. The world is addicted to the circus.”
Sam stands very straight. His fist on the glass trembles, a visible effort not to lose his composure. “This isn’t justice. You don’t fix the world by threatening to destroy it.”
“Don’t I? The only thing anyone listens to anymore is a gun to the head. Or in this case a virus to the water supply.”
Bucky draws in a long, deliberate breath, scanning the cathedral-sized chamber as if taking the measure of human history. It’s another theatrical move. You can see so plainly now that Bucky’s pushing Sam’s buttons on purpose. "Now," he says, letting his hands drop to his sides, "I assume you came ready to make the drop. It's a big ask, I know. One point eight billion is a lot of zeros, even for Uncle Sam."
Sam doesn't flinch. "The money’s ready, untraceable transfer, just like you wanted." He threw a pointed look at the two sentinels waiting beyond Bucky, then back to him. "Now drop the coordinates and the codes. Let the authorities handle the rest. Hell, let me handle it if you want."
They exchange small drives - tossing them at the same time to each other from across the short distance. Sam is already pressing the one he caught to the technology face on the panel in the forearm of his suit, and you can see Bucky uploading his funds to a small device in his hand.
“We good now?” Sam asks.
Bucky looks up, one eyebrow raised. "You think I’d make it that simple? After all the theatrics so far? You’re still thinking in terms of clean beginnings and endings. But that’s not how any of this will work,” Bucky deadpans. “Obviously I’ve brought our guest of honor for a reason,” he shifts the focus back to you.
Sam’s eyes flick past Bucky to you, searching for some sign. You give him a small nod, as if to say: I’m okay, keep going, don’t let him win.
But what would winning mean here? What would losing?
Sam’s jaw tics. “You’re not going to do this. You don’t want to hurt anyone. Not really.”
“There’s always a choice, Sam. That’s what you used to say.” Bucky looks, for a moment, almost apologetic. “The system at the deployment site—the only way to access the control terminal is with a biometric confirmation. Yours, Sam. No one else on earth, not even me, could get past it once it’s locked. You’re the linchpin.”
You don’t see the move, not even the flicker of Bucky’s hand—there’s only a flick of light, an infinitesimal click, then a cold bite in your neck. Your hand slaps toward it by reflex; your fingers close over a dart, needle still vibrating where it breached skin. At first, you think it’s a threat, an empty goad to make Sam act, but then your chest constricts, heart stuttering, then galloping so fast you can’t count the beats. Your vision pulses, the color and contrast cranked up to a sickly, menacing degree.
Sam shouts your name. He pounds the glass, rips the shield off his back and tries to breach it with a throw of the titanium to no avail.
So it’s more than mere glass.
Unable to penetrate the clear walls of your cage, Sam round on Bucky. “So you’re going to make me decide. Save the city, or save her.”
“That’s the game.” Bucky finally lets his eyes rest on you again, and the sadness in them isn’t performative, though everything else about this situation is. “If you’re fast enough, maybe you could do both, but is that a gamble you’re willing to take?”
“Damn you, Bucky Barnes!”
Bucky shrugs again. “We can talk it out, if it will make you feel better.”
Bucky rotates his wrist, metal joints clicking. When he continues, his voice is matter-of-fact. “You go for the city right now, you have time to stop this, a win for sure, maybe have time to come back and save her.”
Bucky then nods toward your glass enclosure.
"If you choose her over the city, you can probably get her to a medical professional quickly enough that they can sort her out. You’ll probably miss the window to prevent contamination though. But there will likely be enough time for them to synthesize an antidote. I made sure to use something new. Not in the wild yet. They’ll quarantine and triage, and–”
“Stop, Buck!” Sam cuts him off.
Then your boyfriend turns to you, and his face is soft, the expression broken, pain in his eyes. Sam’s voice is rough as gravel, but clear: “I can’t make a sacrifice like that. Not ever.”
The words hang in the air, immense and echoing. Bucky’s expression doesn’t change, but you see the faintest tremor in the way he sets his jaw—more evidence than any confession that he’d always known what Sam would say.
Sam presses his hand to the glass, and you meet it with your visibly trembling hand. But the gesture seems to pain him as if there wasn’t a barrier between you. “I’m sorry,” he says, and it’s for you, not for Bucky or the world. “I have to.” The words come thick, strangled.
You want to say something clever, something reassuring, but the only thing that escapes in the clenched space of your chest is, “I know.” It escapes in a whisper; your lips barely shape the words.
You let yourself cry, and Sam watches, helpless, his own eyes shining with the effort of keeping himself together. You knew he would choose the city, he had to, but you wish he had shown even a moment of hesitation. Half a moment.
Then Sam turns back to face Bucky. “You won’t get away with this.”
Bucky’s mouth tugs to one side, almost a smirk, but more like something cracked and resisting the urge to bleed out. “Of course I will,” he says. “That’s the game, right? The dangerous former fist of Hydra goes berserk, but only in a way the right people see. If you pull this off, it all stays classified. Just another day of nothing in the files.” He looks at Sam. “You think anyone in charge wants the world to know this was me? This is a PR nightmare the government can’t risk right now.”
The simplicity of it is breathtaking. The threat never even had to be real—only real enough to get everyone moving the way Bucky wants. Only real enough to get the money and to get Sam to choose.
“Don’t think you can just disappear,” Sam says, voice low but iron-strong. “I’ll find you, Bucky.”
There’s the tiniest shimmer of mischief, or perhaps relief, in the crow’s feet at Bucky’s eyes.
“Will you, though?” Bucky’s voice is almost gentle, as if he’s breaking the news of a death to a child. “For decades I was Hydra’s untraceable and lethal assassin. For two years you couldn’t find me, and you were working with Steve who knew me better than anyone, and I was living off next to nothing. Now I have nearly two billion in untraceable cash, I have my mind back, and I know the ins and outs of the modern world. You won’t see me unless I want to be seen.”
Your heart claws at your ribs. The glass magnifies every sound—Sam’s breathing, Bucky’s measured steps, the pulse in your eardrums. You taste blood where you’ve bitten the inside of your cheek.
Sam’s lips curl in a snarl. “You’re not the only one who’s learned a few tricks.”
“Maybe,” Bucky says. “But you’re still too honest to win.”
“How could you do this to me? To Steve?”
Bucky cocks his head to the side. His eyes flick to you for the briefest of moments, and then he says, “You didn’t want me to run out the clock discussing the moral dilemma of saving the city or your girl, but now you want to go over me, you, and Steve? Steve who’s removed himself from the narrative?”
Sam roars in frustration, then turns to look at you again. “I’ll come back for you, I swear,” then races across the floor and leaps off the balcony, off to save the city.
It is, you admit, one hell of an exit.
You can see him—Sam, bright and audacious in the Captain America suit, wings extending like an exclamation mark, darting through the skyline beyond the tall windows. He is smaller, fleeting, a fleck of blue and silver against the impossible glass of the city.
But Bucky doesn’t watch him go. He is watching you.
You slide down the glass, and try to breathe through the chemical tangle in your system. It feels as though the world is going to start sliding off its rails soon; you feel it in the way your pulse speeds and slows, in the clotted shimmer at the edges of your vision. The dart, the toxin, was probably designed for maximum drama, but you don’t know what else it could do.
A low, hydraulic moan startles you from your trance. The glass panels around you shiver, then begin to disappear, sinking in perfect unison into the floor. You scramble to your feet, knees threatening to buckle, and stare at the sudden borderlessness of the room. For a heartbeat, you’re suspended—no cage, no line in the sand, nothing to keep you from collapsing right there.
Bucky advances, quick but cautious, hands visible and open. His silhouette blots out the cathedral lights, broad as a thunderhead. He stops exactly an arm’s length from you, looking at your face as though searching for a misplaced detail.
“Careful,” he warns, voice a scratchy hush. “You’re on a comedown, and it’s a big one.”
You try to say something, but your tongue is a fat, electric slug in your mouth. The cold coins taste returns, sharper than before. “What did you do to me?” you ask.
He crouches cautiously next to you, balancing on the balls of his feet.
“There’s a lot of adrenaline in your system,” Bucky murmurs. “Far more than is natural. It’s spiked everything in your system. As it crashes, you’ll be sluggish, maybe some chills or confusion, but you’ll be okay. I promise.”
You want to believe him. You do, but given what he’s just orchestrated, you’re naturally reluctant.
“What now?” you ask. You’re not even sure who you’re asking: him, the universe, yourself.
Bucky shrugs, all gentle fatalism, and then reaches out—slowly, like you’re a trembling bird that might fling itself into a window if startled—and helps haul you upright. He adjusts his grip to keep you steady, lets you take more of your own weight as you find it.
He leads you out of the big white, windowed theater and down a corridor to an elevator.
A pang needles your heart: he is good at this. At triage, at rescue, at caretaking. At the thousand tiny, invisible gestures that make a person feel seen. Always has been. You hate that you’re grateful for it, just as you hate that you remember the long-ago night of his campaign, that secret gravitational pull between you, the unspoken thing you both stamped down with the solemnity of professionalism.
You don’t want to face where that train of thought leads.
“You made Sam pick. I don’t know if he’ll forgive that.” You try to sound hard-edged, but the words slide out syrupy and damp.
“He doesn’t have to.” Bucky’s voice is almost gentle. “He just has to live with it.”
The elevator dings, and the two of you step in. He punches the top floor.
“And you were right.”
“I wasn’t going to say it.”
And because there’s no reason to hold back, you add, “You didn’t have to twist the knife at the end by pointing out what he was and was not willing to discuss.”
Bucky sighs and drops his head. “No. I didn’t. It was an extra cut of cruelty.” Then he looks up, meets your eyes. “I’m sorry for that.”
The elevator doors slide open, revealing the sort of opulent space that’s either a billionaire’s penthouse lounge or the bridge of a spaceship. You instantly recognize the place, even though you’ve only seen it on screens and in the background of photos: the inner sanctum of Avengers Tower.
Of course. It had to be here. Not a new base, not a black site, not some abandoned eco-bunker in Upstate New York. No, Bucky brought you to the one place that was once the center of the universe for people like him and Sam and all the rest. Even after Tony’s death, after the rebranding and the PR dust-ups and the slow, embarrassing dissolution of the first lineup, the building stood. It was a symbol, indelible and too expensive to demolish, even when all the heroes left in it were ghosts.
Bucky leads you to the counter of what appears to be a bar and helps you into one of the stools there.
The New Avengers had evidently converted it to a cooking area, as well, as you watch Bucky begin to pull out some food and pull together a plate for you.
You watch him, scrutinize him, and you’re sure he knows that’s what you’re doing. He merely endures it, allows it. You assume he knows he owes you that much.
He finally slides the plate in front of you along with a glass of water. “Eat. It’ll help stabilize you more quickly.”
You take a bite out of one of the strawberries on the plate, chew, swallow, then you ask, “There’s no biotoxin, is there?”
Bucky lifts his gaze from where he’s preparing a sandwich for himself. “No. It’s a placebo.”
You pop another strawberry into your mouth and let the silence be the answer for a moment. The water tastes sweeter now, the iron leaching away, leaving only cold relief behind. No biotoxin. Sam would save the world, the money will be untraceable, and Bucky—well, Bucky would get away, wouldn’t he? Or almost.
"So why all this?" you ask, and your voice is steady again. "If it was just about the money, you could’ve found a less theatrical way."
Bucky tilts his head, slicing his sandwich with surgical precision. "I needed to prove a point," he says, not quite looking at you. "To Sam, to Valentina, to whoever is watching the tapes. To myself, maybe. That I can still do the impossible. That I have a choice. Not just a finger on the trigger but a plan. The kind that changes things. To make it clear that I’m done playing their games."
He smiles, half-lopsided, and lets his long exhale fill the empty space between you.
“I could have done it,” he says, and for the first time he sounds almost frightened by the idea. “I thought about it, how easy it would be. Make them all beg, make every suit in D.C. panic. But I couldn’t.” His eyes dart up, meet yours. “I couldn’t risk you.”
You look down at your hands, which are barely shaking now, and rub your thumb into the tender crook of your elbow where the dart had hit. There’s no swelling, no mark, just the memory of panic and the aftertaste of adrenaline. No biotoxin, no threat to a city’s population that could endanger the world, just a glass of water and a plate of fruit in a room of too many old ghosts.
You finish the strawberries, then some of the grapes. It’s not enough sugar to counter the crash, but it brings clarity. The clarity is not comforting.
“Are you going to disappear now?” you ask.
Bucky wipes bread crumbs from his fingers. “Very soon. I wanted to see you safe, first.” He hesitates, leans his weight onto the heel of his hand, like he’s about to confess something with weight.
You push him in the direction you hope he’s going. “Why did you bring me into this? Did you really need to prove Sam’s more Boy Scout than boyfriend? That he’d sacrifice me for millions, for the greater good?”
Bucky’s gaze sharpens. “You knew he would. And so did I.”
Bucky didn’t answer right away. Instead, he slid a grape off the stem, rolled it between his thumb and forefinger, as if the answer might be contained somewhere in the slick green skin. When he finally spoke, his voice was almost mild, but there was a sandpaper edge under the calm.
“There’s something different about him. Over the years since he took up the shield, since he started making the world’s problems his own, he’s…” Bucky let the grape fall, steadied his hands on the counter, “He’s not letting anyone in anymore. Not even you. You can feel it, right?”
You wanted to protest, to say Sam was just tired, just carrying the weight of a world that had never belonged to him, a world that had only ever demanded and doubted. That he came home to you at night, sometimes wordless and aching, sometimes with a wild, generous joy that made all the distance worth it. But you did feel it.
The last few months had been like living with a shadow, the two of you orbiting each other in careful ellipses, sharing space but not gravity. You’d told yourself it was just the stress, that this phase would pass. But how long would you have to keep saying that?
You shrugged, unsure if the gesture was defensive or conciliatory. “He’s got a lot riding on him. They all do. It’s not like anybody’s waiting to see if Captain America screws up, right?”
“Maybe. Or maybe he’s losing too much of himself to the machine.”
You finish the food, drink all the water. Already, the fine tremor in your hands is dying down, and your vision is as sharp as it’s been in months.
“You said you didn’t have to involve me, but you did anyway. Why?”
Bucky comes around the counter to stand next to you before he answers.
“Take my hand,” he says, extending his flesh hand to you.
You study his face for another moment before hesitantly placing your hand in his. He pulls you gently from the stool, bringing you close to his chest, and you can’t help but cave into the comfort he’s offering on a platter in his arms. This is the closeness you wondered about years ago. And it feels even better than you thought it could.
His flesh hand encloses yours, and his metal arm wraps around your back, comforting, solid, while he maintains eye contact with you. Then he leans in and presses a kiss fervently to your forehead. “He wanted the idea of you, I want you.”
Those words steal the breath from your lungs, and you pull back. He allows it but does reach up to wipe more tears from your face.
“Now, he’ll come back for you,” Bucky says. “I’ll leave you here if you want to wait for him. Or…”
Bucky leans forward, slowly, but deliberately, eyes locked with yours, and there is no question that he will kiss you if you let him.
In those brief seconds, your chest swells and aches. It’s a yearning.
“Or you can come with me,” he murmurs against your lips.
You don’t remember who moves first, or if movement is even required—maybe it’s just the inexorable collapse of distance, of vacuum, of more than two years spent circling each other and pretending not to. Your mouth meets his in a kiss so light you might have missed it, a flutter of wings against glass, if not for the way he shudders and tightens his hold on you, molding your body into his with that impossible, titanium certainty.
You gasp, and he swallows it, and the taste of him is nothing like coins or blood or the clinical tang of adrenaline: it’s salt and memory, an old wound newly raw. His lips tremble with restraint, with the effort of holding back the full weight of want, and you feel it in the rigid line of his jaw and the knotted fist of his hand at the small of your back.
The first kiss is a question, but the second is an answer: you press closer, and the kiss goes from uncertain to dangerous, from a secret to a promise.
It would be easy to hate him, even now, for what he’s done, for turning to a villain’s playbook. But what you really feel, what you can’t help feeling, is the way your own hands seek out Bucky’s chest, feel the frantic pulse of him beneath the shirt, the way his heart seems to leap at every slight contact. You break only when your lungs demand it, and even then, you stay close enough that your noses touch, breath shared and erratic.
“I shouldn’t,” you say. You mean the whole thing: kissing Bucky, wanting Bucky, forgiving him, forgiving yourself the old feeling of being seen, truly seen, by someone who never really belonged to you in the first place.
He laughs, low and weary. “That’s why you should.”
Time feels syrup-slow and amplified, and the aftershocks of adrenaline jitter along your bones. You want to lay your head against Bucky’s chest and let everything else go glassy and indistinct, but this moment can’t last forever.
You have to make a choice.
As if to underscore that fact, the moment breaks with the sound of rotors thumping through the silent glass like a racing pulse. A black helicopter, all stealth and menace, settles on the old landing pad just outside the window. You watch its slow, predatory descent, and only then do you realize how little time is left for indecision.
You turn your face back to Bucky. "Where would we even go?" The bitterness in your voice is half challenge, half invitation. A plea for a story you could believe in.
He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t offer you a fantasy. "Doesn’t matter," he says. "With this much money, the right lies, and the right hands pulling the strings, you don’t have to vanish, we will just slide out of frame. Show up somewhere else, different name, different haircut, but us together. You just have to decide if you want to build that new life with me or not.”
He says it like a vow, not a seduction. You almost laugh at how simple he makes it sound. As if all the laws and all the wounds and all the history between the three of you could be severed with a haircut and a fake passport.
You want to slap him. You want to scream at him for making it sound so simple, so transactional, like trading one set of coordinates for another. But isn’t that the whole truth of it? Bucky Barnes had spent his adult years being a ghost wearing a name, a myth forced into the flesh, until the only thing that made sense was reinvention. If you followed, you’d never be more than a co-conspirator in your own vanishing act, but there’s a wild logic to it. There’s even a certain beauty.
It occurs to you, sharply, that you should stay—wait for Sam, let yourself be rescued, let him cry and rage and know that in the end he did what was right. You could handle the heartbreak, or at least pretend you could, because that’s what people like you do. The noise would settle, the scandal would pass, and maybe you’d even find your way back together, though at that moment the possibility seems to diminish more and more.
The real truth is: you don't know what will make you happy, or safe, or sane. You only know that for too long you've been waiting for more, even though you didn’t know it until Bucky pulled the wool from your eyes today.
“Let’s do it,” you say, before you can overthink the words or slip into complacent cowardice disguised as duty. “Let’s go.”
The look on Bucky’s face is less vindicated than startled, as if he hadn’t really thought you’d say yes. He doesn’t whoop or smile. He just takes a breath—deep, rib-rattling—and then his hand closes tight around yours, leading you out to the helicopter.
The pilot is a nobody, faceless behind reflective glass, but you know the kind of men who’d be waiting in the belly of a craft like that—mercenaries who could blend in at the Four Seasons or a funeral, featureless as mannequins until the masks came off.
You duck into the cabin. Bucky keeps a hand at the small of your back, guiding you with a care that feels out of time, out of place, as if this is not a high-speed escape but a date at the theater or a gallery opening. The interior is tight and dark: Kevlar seats, two jump seats with harnesses, a battered first-aid kit stashed in the mesh netting by the door.
He straps you in, efficient but gentle, and without warning the engine screams to life and the city falls away beneath you. The pilot takes you southeast, past the relit towers and the stitched-together parks, past the city’s neat wounds and its ugly repairs.
You don’t ask where you’re going. You’re not sure you want to know. Since you’re all in, you don’t need to know. There is something exhilarating about that, the permission you have given yourself to not care for the first time in … maybe ever.
The chopper banks east, the city’s sprawl dissolving into ribbons of freeway and then the sparse, snow-blotched fields of Long Island. When you spot the airstrip you’re almost disappointed by its ordinariness—just a pair of runways, a wind-wracked row of hangars. The chopper touches down so softly you barely feel it, but Bucky is already unclipping your harness, moving you out with a minimal set of gestures.
He guides you across the tarmac, his grip on your hand steady as he leads you to a small, sleek, white jet. A thinly mustached pilot nods to Bucky as he shepherds you up the stairs. The jet’s interior is cloaked in tasteful leather and woodgrain, the sort of hush money aesthetic that comes with bespoke crimes. Bucky deposits you onto a wide seat and follows with a duffle bag you only now notice slung beneath his arm.
Bucky stows the bag in an overhead bin, then returns to you, sliding into the seat across the aisle. His eyes flick to the window, scanning the tarmac for threats, but his left hand—your hand—remains anchored between you, thumb tracing tight, distracted circles over your knuckles. The door seals with a quietly pneumatic hiss. The engines ramp up, the world narrows to the pressurized silence of the cabin, and you feel a flutter in your chest that is not entirely terror.
In the window’s glass you catch the afterimage of your own face, drained and wild-eyed, and behind it the ghost of Bucky’s reflection—softer, maybe, than you’ve ever seen, as if the act of running is its own absolution.
You’re so tired. You let your head tip sideways, resting against his shoulder—not as surrender, but as a declaration: you are here, you are staying, you are more than the sum of your panic and your decisions good or bad.
Bucky turns to you, the crumple in his brow arranging itself into a question, one palm rising to hover along your jaw. “Hey,” he says, a hush inside a hush. “You okay?”
You nod, too fast, and then press his hand to your cheek, making sure it’s real, it’s flesh, it’s here. He holds your face, thumb slipping beneath your eye, gently searching for evidence of regret or fear or whatever else he’s ruined in you. But all you feel is the burn of anticipation in the hollow of your throat.
He leans in, slower than before, and brushes your lips with his, brief, reverent. Another. Another—each one less careful, less patient. You open for him, cup the back of his head, tangle your fingers deep in his hair, and he looses a sound like a confession; he lets the restraint drop, mouth insistent and hungry, hands finding your waist, your ribs, the sweetly bare patch where your shirt has ridden up. His breath is ragged, the rasp of stubble on your jawline making your skin prickle in a way that borders on pain, but you want that, you want more of it, and you arch into him, letting the seatbelt cut into your hip as you all but crawl onto his lap.
The jet is barely airborne when his metal hand skims under your shirt, cold electricity against the bend of your back. You gasp, half laughing, then bite his lip, tasting the salt and copper, the promise of scars. His flesh hand is at your nape, anchoring you, and you realize this is how you always wanted him to hold you—hard enough to bruise, but gentle in the moments between.
Before you can process how you went from catatonic hostage to this wild, reckless person, you’re straddling him in the narrow jet seat, breathless and laughing into his mouth, kissing him like you’re kissing a different future into existence.
You kiss until your lungs burn, and when you part, your lips are wet and swollen, and he’s looking at you like you’re the oxygen his lungs need. You can feel the restraint it takes for him to stop, even for a second.
When he speaks, it’s against your mouth, so soft and low you have to strain to catch it. “I wanted you for so long.” He nips your lower lip in punctuation, then kisses the sting away, chasing the shape of your mouth as if memorizing it.
His hands slide under your shirt, confident and unhurried, a slow drag of heat and cool along the ridge of your back and then the soft, uncertain slope of your side. He maps you like new terrain, reverent, deliberate, his palm broad and rough as river rock where it skims above your waistband. You’re conscious, absurdly, of the way your flesh yields and gathers beneath his grip, the fold at your waist, the plush seam above your jeans. You brace for the recoil—the pause, the flinch, the embarrassed withdrawal that men as fine as Bucky Barnes always seem to have in their DNA when faced with anything that doesn’t fit the platonic ideal of a lover’s body, the first time they touch you intimately—but it doesn’t come. He doesn’t falter, doesn’t even hesitate. If anything, the way his hands frame you, hold you together, suggests he’d prefer more of you, not less.
You’re all nerves and need, the pulse in your throat so present it’s almost embarrassing, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You want this. Want him. Want the mess and the wrongness and the chance to hurt and heal in ways you’ve only ever fantasized about, in the long blank nights when Sam was out saving the world and you were left with the ghost of a life you didn’t remember choosing.
You don’t remember unbuttoning your jeans, or how his hand gets under the waistband, but it’s there—skin on skin, soft and cool where the metal arm braces your spine and the flesh hand moves against your belly. He shivers when you wrap both arms around him, as if the pressure of your grasp is the only thing anchoring him to the world.
There is a hush in the jet, the kind that lets you hear your own blood roaring, lets you hear the catch in Bucky’s breath as you grind against him, slow and unashamed, letting him feel the sum of your want. He doesn’t talk, doesn’t try to fill the silence. His hands do the talking instead, every gesture translating what words never could: careful, desperate, worshipful.
The way you undress—it’s not hurried, but it’s not shy. You peel yourself out of your shirt, shivering in the cool pressurized air, but you catch nothing but hunger and awe in Bucky's gaze. It’s as if he’s been waiting in a Siberian cave since the forties to see you like this, and there is something almost holy in the way he runs the backs of his fingers over your clavicle, your breasts, the jigsaw of you that’s both familiar to yourself and entirely new. For a brief flash, you wonder how you look—are you beautiful to him in the brash daylight of the aircraft, or is it more like a study in imperfection, in odd shapes and old bruises and the vulnerable, workaday flesh of someone who’s never been anyone’s ideal for very long. But his breath catches, and his pupils blow wide, and he says your name so softly it sounds like a benediction. That’s answer enough.
The feel of him is just as you’d imagined—no, it’s more: the impossible tautness of muscle beneath cool skin, the way he holds you so precisely you never for a moment doubt your own safety. The metal arm is cold at first, its ruthlessness pressed along your ribs, but the warmth of his body as you mold to each other chases the edge away. He kisses down your neck, slow, never rushed, as if marking time on a clock only you share. When you arch into his mouth, when you let him finally cup your breast, you’re rewarded with a sound from deep in his chest—a wounded, yearning, making it clear you’re all he wants.
He doesn’t hurry. The world is burning behind you out the window, somewhere Sam is fighting for a city that will always need him, but here, inside this tiny, moving sanctuary, Bucky gives you an unhurried exhale, ritual slow, as if neither of you have ever had a single moment in your lives to spare for pleasure before now. His palm slides along your thigh, then the inside of your thigh, then waits, patient as a dog in winter, for you to open further. You do, knees bracing on either side of his.
His hand makes its way between your legs, and it’s devastating—how lightly he touches at first, just the pads of two fingers drawing lazy circles along the seam of your underwear, as if reacquainting himself with the geometry of gentleness. You are slick and shockingly warm, and when his thumb circles your clit, the jolt of pleasure is so keen you dig your hands into his shoulders, hard enough for the flesh beneath to yield. He watches your face, noting every tremor, every catch in your swallowing breath, mapping the arc of your wanting. You want him to devour you, but he worships instead, building you slow and slow and never letting you fall all the way down. Every time you shudder or gasp or roll your hips, he radiates a pride so profound it makes you want to cry.
You come with his metal hand splayed across your back and his living hand cupping you, his mouth open against your neck, whispering your name and then fragments of words: “beautiful,” “always wanted,” “don’t believe it”. You shake and quake around his fingers, a hot flood, and you laugh out loud because you can’t do anything else—your body is burning alive and Bucky Barnes is the only cooling agent in the universe.
After, he tucks you close, skin to skin, and listens to the staccato drum of your heart as if it’s telling a secret. He brushes damp hair from your temple and studies you like he’s afraid to blink, lest you vanish with the throb of the engine.
“I wanted you for so long,” he murmurs again, and you want to say, me too, but your tongue is thick and slow and all you manage is to grip his wrist, pinning him to this reality, to this moment run wild on the clock.
You slip from his lap when the urge surges past all reason—not because you do not want to be held, but because you want to see what he looks like when you take him apart. The carpet beneath your knees is soft and plush, but you are not thinking of the carpet, you are thinking of the way Bucky’s breathing shears out of him in a rush as you settle between his legs and glance up.
His pupils are blown, making the pale blue more starless sky than glacier. His lips, wet and a little bitten, are parted in shock, and there’s something so starkly boyish in his awe that you nearly laugh. Instead, you run your hands up the inside of his thighs, not missing how his legs tense and shudder under your grip.
You unbuckle his belt, and for a second you’re all thumbs, nerves having gone to static in your head, but Bucky just sits with hands open and breath held, watching you like you might ghost away if he looked elsewhere. The rough newness of the situation—doing this with him, in daylight, on a moving plane—sends a flush crawling up your body, heat prickling in your scalp. You want to be perfect for him, but you settle for real. You unfasten him, you work his jeans down enough, and he springs against his own belly, more than you’d realized, heavy and flushed, and your chest tightens with wanting.
You feel a spike of victory at the way he swells in your hand, the living pulse of him, velvet-hard and as hot as a fever.
You taste him, first with your lips pressed soft against the tip, then with the slow, savoring press of your tongue along the length, and Bucky’s head drops back, the tendons in his neck cording. He doesn’t make noise, not at first—he’s too disciplined, too careful—but when you increase the pressure, take more of him in, he grits out your name, a rattle of consonants, like he can’t bear up under it any longer. You commit to the rhythm, fast then slow, enjoying the play of pressure and the way his thighs brace in agony and pleasure under your hands. The metal one pets your hair at first, then fists in at the nape of your neck, holding you still for a second while his hips buck minutely, then he curses and releases the grip, as if reining in some inner avalanche.
You’re delighted—delirious almost—by how much you’re able to make him shake. How much you’re able to unmake the man of precision. You want to keep him at this edge forever, but you can also see how hard he’s working not to tear you apart with need. You let the rhythm go ragged for a moment, using your hands to cup him, stroke him, take him deeper. You revel in the way his restraint crumbles, in the way he murmurs pleas and fractured sweet nothings and dirty wants and promises.
He rocks his hips once, twice, then pulls back with a warning—a rough, strangled sound that you recognize as care, as wanting not to overwhelm or take—so you press your hand to his thigh and keep him still, refusing retreat. You want all of it: the taste, the heat, the salt and the proof. When he spills into your mouth, every muscle in his body shivers and the shuddering pulse of him fills you, thick and sweet and endless. You swallow, and his thighs buckle, and he drags you up, mouth to mouth, tasting himself on your tongue and growling in approval.
You expect him to collapse, to flop boneless and dazed into the seat, but instead his cock is still hard, red and slick and angry-looking in the open vee of his jeans. You look down, then up, and the expression on your face must be famished and raw, because Bucky’s answering expression is a wolf’s grin—hungry, delighted, and you’re so glad for it, so mindless with wanting, it almost hurts.
You want him inside you, want him to push every thought from your head. He licks his thumb and traces your lower lip, then presses it past your teeth, not forceful but insistent, and you suck without a second thought.
“Fuck, you’re going to kill me,” he says, but the way he says it, it sounds like he’s eager for the mutual ruin.
He coaxes you up, not with a command but a gentle tug of your wrist; you let yourself be arranged, his palms guiding your hips and then gently coaxing you up, angling your body so you're kneeling, braced on the plush seatback, spine arched, ass tilted toward him. There’s nothing clinical or hasty here; he positions you like an artist with a marble he’s spent decades yearning to carve. You feel the raw, predatory focus radiate off him, and you can’t help but turn to catch the look in his eyes—eager but almost reverent.
His cock nudges against you, then slides up the seam, gathering wetness, and for a moment he lingers, thumb stroking the base of your spine, the cool metal of his hand anchoring your shoulder. The first push is slow, deliberate, the kind of pressure that makes your whole body tense and then open for him. He fills you with an unhurried inevitability, and for a moment you can’t breathe for how big he is, how much he fills your most intimate space.
He groans at the feeling, deep and sin-worn, and the sound shoots heat up your back, makes your thighs shake. He holds you steady with both hands, one flesh and the other a cold star at your hip, and waits for you to tell him to move. Your own voice is gone to glass, so you just tip your hips, a silent plea, and he obeys, rolling into you in a series of slow, tidal thrusts that let you feel every inch.
It’s impossible to be quiet, and Bucky clearly prefers you not to be. He leans over you, his chest hot along your spine, and bites your shoulder, not hard enough to bruise but just so you know he’s there, and you cry out at the dual sensation—sharp and yielding, ache and relief. His rhythm is slow at first, but when you reach back and dig your nails into the firm cut of his thigh, he hisses and snaps his hips with a force that borders on brutal, but never spills over into cruelty. It’s want, not violence; hunger, not harm. You want every bit of it, every relentless stroke, every scrape of his teeth on your skin, the bruise of his hand as it sprawls between your shoulder blades and pins you to the world.
You have the sudden, feverish sense that Bucky wants to own every part of you, not just the places you expect to be touched, but the boundaries you never thought to keep. His hands—both of them, vibranium and flesh—roam your hips, your back, the trembling crease where thigh meets ass. When he pushes in deeper, it’s with a precision that feels engineered; he wants to draw something new from you, to find the note that will finally split you open.
You’re so wet you can hear it, the slick wet music of skin on skin. His flesh hand is anchored at your hip, fingers digging into the softness there, holding you steady as he fucks you, each thrust deliberate. But the cold of his metal hand is more curious; it traces up your spine, fans across the nape of your neck, then drops down again, palming the globe of your ass with a hunger that feels almost greedy.
He shifts, altering the angle of his thrusts so each one drags a new, devastating friction along your inner walls, and his hand, the metal one, snakes lower, cupping your mound so your clit is pressed and circled in perfect tandem to the building rhythm. The world telescopes to the points at which he touches you, and then just when you think you can’t take more, that the heat will level you into unconsciousness, his finger—cool, slick now with your own wetness—traces the forbidden line between your cheeks. A barely-there touch, a slow, teasing swirl around the tight, neglected ring, and you startle at the contact, gasping out a word that could be “fuck” or “please” or both, pulse stuttering with the shock of it.
He doesn’t force, doesn’t press, just circles, gentle and patient, letting you acclimate to the possibility, the threat. With each swirl you feel yourself open more—this hunger, this trust, this dumbfounding desire to let Bucky give you something that nobody else ever has. When he finally presses in, just the barest tip of a finger, the line between pleasure and pressure melts and you keen aloud, startled at your own reaction. He groans at the sound, his cock twitching inside you, and the next thrust is deeper, more desperate, as if he’s as ruined by you as you are by him.
There is nothing for it but to surrender. You arch into every sensation, let Bucky fill every blank in your vocabulary of want. Each time his finger moves, gentle and relentless, you feel your body respond with such wild, involuntary gratitude that you want to weep. You reach between your legs, questing for your clit, greedy for more and not caring if you break apart in his arms.
He pistons into you, relentless and sure, and somewhere in the haze you catch yourself thinking: this is what it feels like to matter to someone so much they lose their mind. Bucky coaxes every sound from you, every plea, every curse. When you clamp down around him hard enough he nearly loses his grip, you hear him choke out your name in a shattered, breaking way, and he plants his palm to the curve of your ass and drives you into the seat with a bruising finality.
You come again, and this time the sound you make is so raw you’re embarrassed, but he only groans in reply, matching you stroke for stroke, as if the louder you are, the more it means. You shake, legs threatening to go, but he holds you, refusing to let you slip through his grip. You ride out every ripple, every quaking tremor, and when you finally slump forward, breathless and wrung out, he chases your high with his own, hips jerking in a wild, arrhythmic staccato as he empties himself in you with a deep, almost haunted sound that echoes in your lungs for ages after.
He collapses over your back, breath damp against your neck, arms caging you in. For a moment, the world is nothing but the drum of his heart, the shockwave of your own afterglow, and the faintly ridiculous realization that you’re at cruising altitude over the Atlantic, sweat-soaked and boneless and impossibly, impossibly alive.
It takes a long time before you find words. It takes even longer before you can turn to look him in the eye.
“So that happened,” you say, voice soft but rooted in satiation, and the hint of a question behind it, craving his thoughts, his impressions.
Bucky is still inside you, softening, but when you laugh at your own understatement, he laughs too, the sound honest and unselfconscious and bright enough to startle you out of the receding fog. He nuzzles your hair and bites your shoulder, just once, in a gentle, feral way. “You say that like it wasn’t inevitable,” he says. “Like I haven’t been thinking about you since the first time you told me off in front of the whole comms team.”
You twist in his lap, wince a little at the sticky ache between your legs, then kiss his jaw, his pulse point, the soft curl of his ear. You want to say something perfect, something to thread all this pain and elation together, but your mind is losing the war with your body’s demands. You just want to be held, and he seems to know it, because he wraps those impossible arms all the way around you and tucks you close to his chest, bringing you into his lap.
You burrow in, cheek pressed to the racing engine of his heart, your legs folded up to your chest as a drowsy quiet settles in the cabin. The hum of the jet, the soft huff of Bucky’s breath in your hair, the double warmth and chill of his touch—it’s all a nest, a chrysalis, and you’re content to lie there for however many thousand miles it takes to put the old world behind you.
You lose track of time. The hum of the engine, the proximity of Bucky’s bare skin to yours, the way your heart replays every inch of what just happened: it all floats you through a corridor of warmth and contentment that you haven’t felt since you were young.
The world out the window is seared gold, the last of day sinking past the wing as you cruise east. At some point Bucky stands, balancing both of you as if his balance is unassailable, and fetches a blanket, a hand towel, and a glass of water from the service cabinet before returning you both to the comfortable leather seat.
You drink it down in greedy gulps while he wipes you off with practiced, delicate swipes of the towel, his touch less clinical than worshipful. He tucks the blanket around you both, creating a cocoon for the coming moments.
You pull the blanket up to your nose, tuck your chin and watch him above the rim, eyes wet and still trembling from what you’ve both done. He doesn’t try to explain it. Instead, he finds your hand beneath the blanket and holds it, thumb stroking slow circles over the pulse at your wrist.
You spend the next hour drowsing in and out, stolen moments of sleep lurching you awake with the latent fear that this is all a fever dream, that you’re actually still in the glass box in the cathedral, or floating in some post-toxin afterlife. But Bucky is always there when you surface, his arm warm across your shoulders, the scars along his shoulder catching beneath your fingers.
You and Bucky share quiet conversations during the waking moments. It’s so easy to fall into this side of intimacy with him, too, not only the physical you shared earlier.
He tells you about the safehouse you’re going to in Paris, the bank accounts, the names and legends already prepared for both of you. It sounds almost routine, except for the faint blush in his cheeks, or the sheepish smile when he admits, “I even have a cat, for appearance’s sake.” He says this with a half-smirk, daring you to mock him. Instead, you ask about the cat. Its name is Alpine; it’s white and sassy and already edging toward overweight now that she’s been rescued from the streets. Somehow, that makes the plan feel more plausible, more fit to live in and real.
When you ask about Sam—where he’d go, how long before he finds both of you—Bucky’s face softens into a sort of loving regret. “He’ll do what he’s always done: fight the good fight. Even if that means chasing after us for the next few years.” He says it not with bravado, but with the sigh of someone who’s accepted the cost of his actions.
Bucky’s thumb drew a few more circles over your hand, and you watched with the drowsy clarity of afterglow as he studied you, the long focus of a man who still had something left to say. He let you sleep for most of the flight, let you curl and sprawl across his lap and the seat, but somewhere over the dark green quilt of the Irish Sea, he angled your face up to his with a touch so gentle you almost missed the gravity behind it.
“You know,” he said, “I didn’t do any of this–bring you into it–because I thought Sam was a bad person. Not even because I thought he was a bad partner to you.” The words were slow, deliberate, like he meant them to lodge somewhere deep and stay. “I just wanted you to see the thing he never lets you see—how, in a pinch, he’ll always run toward the fire. Even if you’re the one burning.”
It was a monstrous thing to say, but Bucky didn’t hold back from the full measure of his meaning.
“He did love you,” he says. “Still does. You know that, right?”
The words land heavy and soft, an ache buried under the warmth of the blanket, the pressurized hush of the jet. You want to nod, to agree, but something in Bucky’s expression dares you to challenge that, to perhaps ask for more.
“He did,” you echo, your voice shot through with all the hurt, relief, and confusion you’d stored on a shelf in the back of your mind that you’d ignored. Because sometimes that’s just what couples do. “You don’t have to defend him. Or me.”
“He’s better in so many ways than me,” Bucky says, not so much conceding as saluting, as if the point is a living monument somewhere between you. “But he’s been Captain America so long, he’s started to believe the only way to love anyone is to protect them from everything, even himself. Maybe especially himself.”
You catch the twinge in Bucky’s voice, the jealousy and the admiration braided together so tightly you can’t tell where one leaves off and the other picks up. You tried to find the flaw in this logic, some hidden malice or manipulation, but the words rang too true. The last year with Sam had been a string of empty nights in his apartment or yours, half-eaten dinners, phone calls cut short by emergencies with names you never learned and crises that belonged to the world.
“You deserve someone who’ll always pick you. Even if it’s selfish. Even if it’s not the end the story wants. And I never want you to wonder–I didn't do this because of him, I did it for me. It's the only truly villainous thing I did today.”
You open your mouth to reply, but there is something inside you, a molten sorrow or longing or both, that makes words taste foreign. For a moment, you just look at Bucky—the long, tired face of a man who’s lost nearly everything more than once, and yet still offers up his devotion, his heart, his everything.
There is a comfort in that. Not the comfort of fairy tales or sunny brunches with friends, but the comfort of an old wound that’s finally healed over, ugly and permanent, yes, but proof you survived.
You nestle in, letting Bucky wrap you tighter, and the two of you pass the last leg of the flight in an unspoken truce with your ghosts, listening only to the lull of engines and the steady, intermittent thump of his heart. A heart that you know is yours and yours alone. It’s not a magic ending. It’s a messy beginning. But it’s tangible, real, something whole that you know you can grasp and hold without hesitation.
This villain is yours, and if your full embrace of this new alternative makes you villainous, too, at least you know it’s the two of you all in, hand in hand, together.

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